Confession, I texted the dreaded ex today. Why you ask? Am I a masochist? Probably, but the real reason is simple. I was bored. It's Saturday night and I'm sitting home alone eating a bacon cheeseburger and watching Moneyball simply for the fact that is was nominated for an Oscar and Brad Pitt is in it. I wanted to carry on a conversation of mindless chatter and I knew that he would provide that for me, at least that's what I had hoped. I sent him a useless message three hours ago and he has yet to respond. I imagine he's still mad at me for not replying to the text message he sent me two weeks ago but it didn't require a response as he only sent me a statement about a show I haven't watched in two years. In true passive aggressive fashion he will likely respond to me some time tomorrow afternoon making up an excuse for not replying when I am 99% sure he's been at home all weekend playing video games.
The whole idea of even contacting him came from a conversation I had earlier this week. I had the pleasure of having dinner after work with a girl I used to work with at my first job out of college. We were both loan processors for a mortgage company and became fast friends over our general dislike of our jobs. In what turned out to be the biggest blessing of our lives we were both laid off by that company & started working for the same insurance company. Still a thankless job but it paid better than our old jobs. We had kept in touch but hadn't actually seen each other in nearly 4 years until this past Wednesday. She recently became engaged to her boyfriend of 7 years and it's a very exciting time for them both. I remember when we started working together they were only 20 years old and had just bought a house together. They are getting married in Niagara Falls and having a wedding reception in town in the fall. I must say I'm very grateful I don't have to attend their wedding stag. At least with a reception I can sneak in, scarf down a piece of cake, wish them the best, and sneak right back out all in a span of 15 minutes.
She's incredibly happy. She's also trying to get into the HR field and I was so happy to have the opportunity to give her the "Your dreams will eventually come true" pep talk that I had to give myself for the past 8 years until things finally worked out. She asked me about my job and I actually had something to say. Before when people would ask me about my job I had to come up with different ways to make customer service drone sound interesting but now that I've finally landed the job I've always wanted I'm no longer ashamed to talk about what I do. The best part of the night was the fact that I was out of the house for a reason other than work. Sadly that was the first social interaction I've had in the past 4 months since I moved back to town.
It was also fun to find out what had been happening at the company since I left. Hearing gossip about the place you hated working at always makes the beverage your sipping on taste even sweeter. She mentioned some of the things going on and I knew my ex was getting the brunt of some of that so I sent him a text to inquire how things were going at work. I of course already knew the answer but I was looking for an excuse to contact him and I was feeling weak. One of the blogs I follow challenged its readers to spend 30 days wishing happiness to someone who has done you wrong so I've done that for my ex. I'm only 6 days in and its hard to say it out loud but surprisingly each day it gets a little easier. I know he's miserable not because of my absence but because of a series of things from his past that he refuses to let go of. I've actually prayed that he will learn to let it go and let love in. Clearly there is something very wrong with me to actively be wishing him well right?
All of this being the bigger person crap has left me a little distraught as I'm sure he's not doing the same for me and I feel like a fool for not being completely over him yet. When these failure thoughts start to take over my mind I try to counteract them by doing some good. A very special friend of mine has a celebration taking place in her family next week so I went out to buy a gift to help her celebrate. I found several options and narrowed it down to two but I just couldn't decide. I came across the sweetest salesperson and some other random lady who why buying gifts for someone and they helped me confirm my first choice was the best. Had I stayed home and stewed in the grief of my deceased relationship I would have missed out on meeting two really nice individuals. Not to mention the fact that I would have missed out on a great sale.
I stopped by the shoe department on my way out to take a look at the sale room and I found the 5 inch colorblock pumps I had been eyeing for the past 6 weeks. They had my size and they were on sale for the exact price that I was willing to pay for them. I slipped those glorious heels on my feet only to find that they were a bit snug. Of course they didn't have a half-size larger because that would have made the day too perfect, but Sean my shoe fairy for the day called around to 5 different stores before he located the size and he is having them shipped directly to my house. I know it's his job to do that but I was so grateful because I really needed a nice pick-me-up today. Oh, and don't worry pictures of the shoes are to come in 7-10 business days.....
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Valentine's Day......Again
Valentine's Day comes on the same date every year and inevitably I'm never emotionally prepared for it. Last year I spent the day preparing small surprises for a man who didn't care but had the decency to say thank you. I'm not sure that you can truly consider someone your valentine if you are emphatically not theirs. I have since dropped that dead weight but I am facing my 29th Valentine's Day without a true valentine yet again. I guess I cannot say that truthfully because for 29 years my mother has always been my valentine.
Of course when I was little she would help me pick out the coolest valentine's to give to my classmates and she would always get me some candy or other little pink & red gifts to make me feel special. Even in high school she would tuck a little valentine in my coat pocket or book bag just to show she cared. I remember thinking how lame that was because other girls in my class had real valentine's because they had boyfriends who would get them flowers or cheap jewelry and take them out to dinner. Thinking back on it now I didn't even realize how lucky I was. I had someone that loved me and was willing to show it in the simplest way. Isn't that the whole point of the day is to show love? Even to this day she still gets me a little bag filled with strawberry creme hearts because she knows they are my favorite and I always look forward to that. I usually get her a little gift as well because I do love her and because I know my father will forget. He's always dropped the ball in the romance department but that story deserves it's own separate post.
Many people say that Valentine's Day is simply a commercial holiday where "the man" plays on our emotions to get us to buy things especially when many of us are still broke from maxing out our credit cards during Christmas 7 weeks ago. I would agree with that statement we really don't need to spend a lot of money to show love to people who should already know that we love them by showing them love through our actions on a daily basis; however, watching half the women in your office get roses while your desk is left with an empty space stings a little. I don't need a relationship to validate my existence but dang it's nice to have a man buy you stuff!
There is always someone who has it worse than me whether they are in poor physical health or currently unemployed while I am in good health and have a job that I really like. When I start to think poor me I try to think of those people who really have something to complain about. Valentine's Day should be a fun day because it celebrates love and you don't have to be in a romantic relationship to show love. I love seeing all the pink & red flowers, the balloons, & candy that floods the aisles of the stores. Fortunately I have a job so I can afford to indulge in buying myself some of those items and it puts a smile on my face and that's exactly what I did this weekend. I will wear red to work that day because it's festive and I think it's fun. I will also make sure to focus on showing love & kindness to others that day that may have no one else in their lives to do that and I have a feeling I won't be miserable or feel lonely at all.
Of course when I was little she would help me pick out the coolest valentine's to give to my classmates and she would always get me some candy or other little pink & red gifts to make me feel special. Even in high school she would tuck a little valentine in my coat pocket or book bag just to show she cared. I remember thinking how lame that was because other girls in my class had real valentine's because they had boyfriends who would get them flowers or cheap jewelry and take them out to dinner. Thinking back on it now I didn't even realize how lucky I was. I had someone that loved me and was willing to show it in the simplest way. Isn't that the whole point of the day is to show love? Even to this day she still gets me a little bag filled with strawberry creme hearts because she knows they are my favorite and I always look forward to that. I usually get her a little gift as well because I do love her and because I know my father will forget. He's always dropped the ball in the romance department but that story deserves it's own separate post.
Many people say that Valentine's Day is simply a commercial holiday where "the man" plays on our emotions to get us to buy things especially when many of us are still broke from maxing out our credit cards during Christmas 7 weeks ago. I would agree with that statement we really don't need to spend a lot of money to show love to people who should already know that we love them by showing them love through our actions on a daily basis; however, watching half the women in your office get roses while your desk is left with an empty space stings a little. I don't need a relationship to validate my existence but dang it's nice to have a man buy you stuff!
There is always someone who has it worse than me whether they are in poor physical health or currently unemployed while I am in good health and have a job that I really like. When I start to think poor me I try to think of those people who really have something to complain about. Valentine's Day should be a fun day because it celebrates love and you don't have to be in a romantic relationship to show love. I love seeing all the pink & red flowers, the balloons, & candy that floods the aisles of the stores. Fortunately I have a job so I can afford to indulge in buying myself some of those items and it puts a smile on my face and that's exactly what I did this weekend. I will wear red to work that day because it's festive and I think it's fun. I will also make sure to focus on showing love & kindness to others that day that may have no one else in their lives to do that and I have a feeling I won't be miserable or feel lonely at all.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Stephanie the Sale Stalker
As I write this my feet are happily snuggled in a pair of brightly colored 3 1/2 inch pumps freshly delivered to me from Italy. Yes I'm lying in bed wearing a pair of heels. That's how much I love them. I got these lovelies for 30% off. I paid a little more than I wanted to for them but I've been on the wait list for them for the past 3 months. I am one that believes the right outfit can truly change my life so I am always on the lookout for a new piece to add to my collection. My tastes are much more expensive than what I actually make so I have to either spend a great deal of my free time trying find a great sale or go without a decent meal for a few days. I'm slightly ashamed to admit that I have made both sacrifices on numerous occasions all in the name of fashion but the high I get when I can claim whatever it is that I've been pining after is truly sweet.
Much to my chagrin I didn't find that many great deals during the holidays so I brought a few gifts for my family and friends while my list of must have items continued to grow without actually being purchased. Anytime I see something great I take a mental note while I mentally shop my closet. If I can come up with at least 3 outfits to incorporate it with it goes on my list. It can't just be anything. It has to be an item of clothing or accessory unlike something I've ever seen or have in my collection. I go back to the store or go online to get the style number and write down the price it's currently at then decide what price I'm willing to pay for it. I also decide if it's as cute or versatile as I originally thought it was. If I can't get it out of my mind I know it's a must have. Then the stalking begins. Yes, I am a stalker. Not of men of course because they're not worth the trouble. I stalk merchandise mainly because to date I've never had a calf-hair leopard print belt break my heart.
The stalking is rather time consuming. It's easier to stalk things online because I can get access to the Internet all day long either at home, at work, or through my phone. I will check the items every morning while I'm scarfing down my breakfast, during my lunch hour, or at night while I'm watching my shows to make sure I know it's status each day. Stores usually update their sale merchandise on Wednesdays or Thursdays and weekend sales can always pop up so those are the days I usually check it but certain retailers like to do other random sales so I made sure to sign up for their email lists so I can be notified when they have customer appreciation days or whatever.
If it's a store only item I get up ridiculously early on Saturdays to hit the stores right when they open because that is when they have most of their current stock out on the shelves and the salespeople are the friendliest. Friendly salespeople are alot more likely to do special searches for you especially if there's barely anyone else in the store. Always be nice to them because I've learned from experience that if your a pleasure to work with they will keep you in mind when other sales come up. I've had some of them tell me days ahead of time when a big sale was coming. Others will hold items for me until they go on sale and others have even let me use their employee discount. These are just a few of my shopping secrets which aren't really secrets because I know others use them but they have worked well for me.
My vigilance has really paid off for me lately. In the last two weeks I've been able to get 3 items I was dying to have at incredibly great prices. I got two J. Crew dresses one lace LBD (little black dress) that was $188 which I got for $37 and a beautiful floral taffeta A-line dress that was $228 which I snatched up for $50! This particular dress I have been stalking since September so I would have made out with the UPS guy who delivered it had I been home at the time. I saw someone wearing it at fashion week a few months ago so I know it photographs well.
My other find was a pair of knee high suede boots with a stiletto heel. I found these boots at Von Maur a month ago and had dreamed about them every night since that day but at the time they were only on sale for $185 which was too rich for my blood. Although I knew I couldn't afford them it was still incredibly hard for me to walk away from them. I went back to the sale room last Saturday to look for them again only to be greeted by a room full of shoes strewn about all over the floor. It literally looked like a tornado had ripped through the room and there were shoes on top of shoes that had clearly been picked over. I knew a great deal could be found so I rolled up my sleeves and started digging. It didn't help that some snobby woman came in there took one look around and complained about how awful it looked in there and how she would never spend time looking through that mess for some shoes. She spent a good few minutes standing there very loudly exclaiming how beneath her the sale room was but that did not deter me from my search.
I slipped my feet into those beauties and took a lap around the store. They felt equal parts sexy and fierce and I liked the way they looked on me. Both salespeople gushed about how hot they were and although they may have been saying that just to make a sale I had to agree with them. Luckily I had just gotten paid because I knew I couldn't walk away from them a second time. I took them to the counter and my dream $298 boots rang up as $79. I was so happy I wanted to cry.....ok maybe I did actually tear up a little but they were so worth the wait. I truly hope I can say that about a man someday and that man must respect my shoe collection because it was there bringing me joy long before he ever was.
Much to my chagrin I didn't find that many great deals during the holidays so I brought a few gifts for my family and friends while my list of must have items continued to grow without actually being purchased. Anytime I see something great I take a mental note while I mentally shop my closet. If I can come up with at least 3 outfits to incorporate it with it goes on my list. It can't just be anything. It has to be an item of clothing or accessory unlike something I've ever seen or have in my collection. I go back to the store or go online to get the style number and write down the price it's currently at then decide what price I'm willing to pay for it. I also decide if it's as cute or versatile as I originally thought it was. If I can't get it out of my mind I know it's a must have. Then the stalking begins. Yes, I am a stalker. Not of men of course because they're not worth the trouble. I stalk merchandise mainly because to date I've never had a calf-hair leopard print belt break my heart.
The stalking is rather time consuming. It's easier to stalk things online because I can get access to the Internet all day long either at home, at work, or through my phone. I will check the items every morning while I'm scarfing down my breakfast, during my lunch hour, or at night while I'm watching my shows to make sure I know it's status each day. Stores usually update their sale merchandise on Wednesdays or Thursdays and weekend sales can always pop up so those are the days I usually check it but certain retailers like to do other random sales so I made sure to sign up for their email lists so I can be notified when they have customer appreciation days or whatever.
If it's a store only item I get up ridiculously early on Saturdays to hit the stores right when they open because that is when they have most of their current stock out on the shelves and the salespeople are the friendliest. Friendly salespeople are alot more likely to do special searches for you especially if there's barely anyone else in the store. Always be nice to them because I've learned from experience that if your a pleasure to work with they will keep you in mind when other sales come up. I've had some of them tell me days ahead of time when a big sale was coming. Others will hold items for me until they go on sale and others have even let me use their employee discount. These are just a few of my shopping secrets which aren't really secrets because I know others use them but they have worked well for me.
My vigilance has really paid off for me lately. In the last two weeks I've been able to get 3 items I was dying to have at incredibly great prices. I got two J. Crew dresses one lace LBD (little black dress) that was $188 which I got for $37 and a beautiful floral taffeta A-line dress that was $228 which I snatched up for $50! This particular dress I have been stalking since September so I would have made out with the UPS guy who delivered it had I been home at the time. I saw someone wearing it at fashion week a few months ago so I know it photographs well.
My other find was a pair of knee high suede boots with a stiletto heel. I found these boots at Von Maur a month ago and had dreamed about them every night since that day but at the time they were only on sale for $185 which was too rich for my blood. Although I knew I couldn't afford them it was still incredibly hard for me to walk away from them. I went back to the sale room last Saturday to look for them again only to be greeted by a room full of shoes strewn about all over the floor. It literally looked like a tornado had ripped through the room and there were shoes on top of shoes that had clearly been picked over. I knew a great deal could be found so I rolled up my sleeves and started digging. It didn't help that some snobby woman came in there took one look around and complained about how awful it looked in there and how she would never spend time looking through that mess for some shoes. She spent a good few minutes standing there very loudly exclaiming how beneath her the sale room was but that did not deter me from my search.
I slipped my feet into those beauties and took a lap around the store. They felt equal parts sexy and fierce and I liked the way they looked on me. Both salespeople gushed about how hot they were and although they may have been saying that just to make a sale I had to agree with them. Luckily I had just gotten paid because I knew I couldn't walk away from them a second time. I took them to the counter and my dream $298 boots rang up as $79. I was so happy I wanted to cry.....ok maybe I did actually tear up a little but they were so worth the wait. I truly hope I can say that about a man someday and that man must respect my shoe collection because it was there bringing me joy long before he ever was.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
New year, New me
So I started off this year intending to live my life differently. Actually my quote for the year is "This year instead of concerning myself with meeting the man of my dreams I'm going to focus on becoming the person of my dreams and I expect the results to be fabulous!". Well we're 5 days into 2012 and I've already failed myself.
Today one of my co-workers shared with us that she is pregnant with twins. She is such a fun person and one of the nicest people I've ever met. I am so happy for her and her husband and excited to hear about her journey through this process but inevitably my next thought was "What the crap am I doing with my life?" She is 26 years old, married, has a great job, just received HR certification (which is a difficult test to pass) and she is a home owner so now she will add mother to fraternal twins to her list of accomplishments. What have I done in comparison? Nothing.
This year the biggest thing I will do is turn 30. It was a big deal to me but now that I think about it, what is so great about it? All you have to do is manage to stay alive on this earth for 30 years and as convenient everything is which allows us to be incredibly lazy, staying alive really isn't that difficult. Ok, ok I know I am being pretty hard on myself but I promised myself 5 days ago that I would not allow these type of thoughts to float around my head but here they are screaming loser.
Shouldn't I have done all of those things she has done by now? I suppose the correct answer to that question is no because if I should have done those things, I believe I would have. God or the universe or whatever it is that you believe would have set up circumstances in a way that would have allowed marriage and baby carriage to enter my twenties but it didn't. I should also correct myself by saying that the only thing I know for sure this year is that I will turn 30 if I can manage to stay alive, everything else is still a mystery as I will never know what tomorrow holds. That is equally exciting as it is scary.
I do hope to celebrate my birthday in Las Vegas staying at a fabulous hotel and spending way too much money on food, drinks, and sunglasses but I think it would be fun and I should be trying things that can bring me happiness and help me grow as a person. I plan on volunteering my time with a cause probably senior citizens because they are an often neglected community but have so much wisdom to share to this generation. I have also been invited to be part of a group a single women that get together monthly for devotions and "fun". I have avoided this group like the plague for the past 3 years because I didn't want to be seen as part of the single and desperate group. I mean if we hangout in a group like that don't we just look like a pathetic bunch? I am so worried that people will start believing there's a reason that I'm single and pity me. I also promised myself not to be worried about what people think anymore but I guess that will just come with time. I am going to put aside all of my assumptions and try it out. You never know I may actually have fun and dare I say make friends.
Today one of my co-workers shared with us that she is pregnant with twins. She is such a fun person and one of the nicest people I've ever met. I am so happy for her and her husband and excited to hear about her journey through this process but inevitably my next thought was "What the crap am I doing with my life?" She is 26 years old, married, has a great job, just received HR certification (which is a difficult test to pass) and she is a home owner so now she will add mother to fraternal twins to her list of accomplishments. What have I done in comparison? Nothing.
This year the biggest thing I will do is turn 30. It was a big deal to me but now that I think about it, what is so great about it? All you have to do is manage to stay alive on this earth for 30 years and as convenient everything is which allows us to be incredibly lazy, staying alive really isn't that difficult. Ok, ok I know I am being pretty hard on myself but I promised myself 5 days ago that I would not allow these type of thoughts to float around my head but here they are screaming loser.
Shouldn't I have done all of those things she has done by now? I suppose the correct answer to that question is no because if I should have done those things, I believe I would have. God or the universe or whatever it is that you believe would have set up circumstances in a way that would have allowed marriage and baby carriage to enter my twenties but it didn't. I should also correct myself by saying that the only thing I know for sure this year is that I will turn 30 if I can manage to stay alive, everything else is still a mystery as I will never know what tomorrow holds. That is equally exciting as it is scary.
I do hope to celebrate my birthday in Las Vegas staying at a fabulous hotel and spending way too much money on food, drinks, and sunglasses but I think it would be fun and I should be trying things that can bring me happiness and help me grow as a person. I plan on volunteering my time with a cause probably senior citizens because they are an often neglected community but have so much wisdom to share to this generation. I have also been invited to be part of a group a single women that get together monthly for devotions and "fun". I have avoided this group like the plague for the past 3 years because I didn't want to be seen as part of the single and desperate group. I mean if we hangout in a group like that don't we just look like a pathetic bunch? I am so worried that people will start believing there's a reason that I'm single and pity me. I also promised myself not to be worried about what people think anymore but I guess that will just come with time. I am going to put aside all of my assumptions and try it out. You never know I may actually have fun and dare I say make friends.
Monday, December 12, 2011
The Ex-factor
If you ever want to be reminded of why you broke up with someone simply talk to them for 5 minutes and the reasons become painfully familiar. For some reason I spent most of the day thinking about my dreaded ex in a positive light. Ok, full disclosure the reason I've been thinking fondly of him is because he texted me out of the blue on Saturday to give me his new cell phone number. The nostalgic part of me believed that he did this because he still cares about me and wants to stay in touch with me. Thinking this way actually made me smile. The realistic part of me knows that he did it because he wants to stay in touch with me in case he wants something from me.
After getting this magical text, I decided to ask him a work related question. I had to get some information about some free resources for the public to use in a town he used to live in as we have potential applicants there. I thought this would be the gateway to a real meaningful conversation but alas it was not. I asked him the question and he gave me two responses one of them a possible good lead and the other was so completely ridiculous I honestly thought he was joking. Unfortuantely he was not. He truly believed he was being helpful. He went on to offer another vague suggestion and I was more than ready to end our brief electronic reunion. I said ok to his first response but I didn't even acknowledge his second one.
How could I have forgotten that he usually is not helpful at all? I can always count on him to do the bare minimum. It reminded me of a time when I asked him a health realted question that I thought he would know the answer to since he was so obessed with physical fitness. All he did was put it into an online search engine and told me what it said. Wow, like I didn't think of doing that myself. He is the self-proclaimed master of everything but he gets 5% of his knowledge from life experience and 95% of his information from google. This means that he is wrong 95% of the time. The other 5% I think ends up being a lucky guess or information from reliable gossip contacts.
Not to fret my friends I am now seeing him clearly and celebrating the fact that I no longer speak to him on a regular basis. The problem is, there is still a chance that I will fall into bad place down the road even briefly when I will again feel like maybe we could work something out. I will agree to go to dinner with him and then before we have even finished our appetizers I will be reminded of why we are not meant to be and then have to decide if I have the strength to put down some money and leave early or stay and end up doing something I'll regret just so I won't be lonely for the night. This is what I like to call the ex-factor....well myself and Lauyrn Hill. He'll want to be with me for the night but be frightened in the morning because it will feel too much like committment but then a few days later he may want a listening ear to vent his frustrations to so he'll call his faithful standby.....me. At least I have my freedom and the sense to know that I will likely always be much smarter than him. Don't judge me every small victory counts!
After getting this magical text, I decided to ask him a work related question. I had to get some information about some free resources for the public to use in a town he used to live in as we have potential applicants there. I thought this would be the gateway to a real meaningful conversation but alas it was not. I asked him the question and he gave me two responses one of them a possible good lead and the other was so completely ridiculous I honestly thought he was joking. Unfortuantely he was not. He truly believed he was being helpful. He went on to offer another vague suggestion and I was more than ready to end our brief electronic reunion. I said ok to his first response but I didn't even acknowledge his second one.
How could I have forgotten that he usually is not helpful at all? I can always count on him to do the bare minimum. It reminded me of a time when I asked him a health realted question that I thought he would know the answer to since he was so obessed with physical fitness. All he did was put it into an online search engine and told me what it said. Wow, like I didn't think of doing that myself. He is the self-proclaimed master of everything but he gets 5% of his knowledge from life experience and 95% of his information from google. This means that he is wrong 95% of the time. The other 5% I think ends up being a lucky guess or information from reliable gossip contacts.
Not to fret my friends I am now seeing him clearly and celebrating the fact that I no longer speak to him on a regular basis. The problem is, there is still a chance that I will fall into bad place down the road even briefly when I will again feel like maybe we could work something out. I will agree to go to dinner with him and then before we have even finished our appetizers I will be reminded of why we are not meant to be and then have to decide if I have the strength to put down some money and leave early or stay and end up doing something I'll regret just so I won't be lonely for the night. This is what I like to call the ex-factor....well myself and Lauyrn Hill. He'll want to be with me for the night but be frightened in the morning because it will feel too much like committment but then a few days later he may want a listening ear to vent his frustrations to so he'll call his faithful standby.....me. At least I have my freedom and the sense to know that I will likely always be much smarter than him. Don't judge me every small victory counts!
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Pampered Schmuck
Last night I found myself participating in a gathering that I had no business attending. I was invited to a Pampered Chef party and actually went. Anyone who knows me well knows that I don't have one domestic bone in my body. I originally tried to think of an excuse I could give to get out of going to this party but it was being hosted by a friend who is trying to start a new life with her son and I wanted to support her moving on so I went.
I arrived and went into the kitchen for the cooking demonstration when I noticed that everyone but me had their shoes off. I of course was wearing a fierce pair of purple patent leather boots that matched the purplish sweater that I had on so the plan was to look cute. Any social gathering calls for a fab outfit because let's face it I don't get invited out anywhere very often these days. I took solace in the fact that my friend didn't require me to remove my boots and I immediately sat down when offered a seat because the pointy toe on those boots were killing me.
She started making a fizzy punch beverage by slicing some limes with a fancy blade contraption and one of the other guests began talking about all the Pampered Chef items she already owned. Within 20 minutes of her gabbing during the cooking demonstration we all discovered that she was originally from Chicago and pronounces certain words differently, was in a long-term relationship with her boyfriend who is 4 years younger than her and who she has no intentions of marrying or having children with him because she's a 20th century girl whatever that means. She has also been to 8 parties in the last year so she was a Pampered Chef expert in her own right and probably helped raise my friend's sales by 30%.
Once she started making some little toasted sandwiches, another guest pipped up saying how wonderful she thought a cookie scooper would be when making hundreds of Christmas cookies with her kids. Another guest was gushing about how easily she could measure things with some fancy measuring cup that she had on display. Then another guest added how easily she could ice a cake with their fancy spatula. "Who are these people?" I thought to myself. "And what is a spatula?" They had boyfriends and spouses and children to feed. They actually cook dinner for their families. The only utensils I own are a Pampered Chef ice cream scooper (cause it really it the best and because I eat sorbet sometimes) and 10-20 take out menus because I would starve if I didn't order my food from someone who has already cooked it for me.
They all whipped out their checkbooks at the end of the demonstration and ordered up a storm. I looked through the catalogue twice and all I wanted to buy where a set of polk-a-dot martini glasses simply for the fact that they looked cute and were on sale for less than $30. When did they learn all of this stuff? Aren't I supposed to have the desire to make my own chicken marsala? (Is that a real dish?)My mom attempted to teach me how to cook when I was younger but it was a disaster so she just made loading and emptying the dishwasher my job and prayed that I would someday meet a man without a stomach so my inadequacies would not be exposed.
I then popped a chocolate raspberry tart in my mouth that she made for dessert and added can't cook to the never ending list of reasons why I'm still single that I keep in my head. I'm the Pampered Schmuck. I've found that people ask me that question alot when they see me lately so I like to be prepared with something partially witty yet painfully truthful. "Why haven't you met someone yet?" Because all the available men are taking a cooking class that I cannot pass. "Why hasn't some great guy snatched you up yet?" Because I may kill him by serving him undercooked meat since I was too cheap to buy the meat thermometer. Lucky for me I still manage to survive on Panera and McDonald's alone.
I arrived and went into the kitchen for the cooking demonstration when I noticed that everyone but me had their shoes off. I of course was wearing a fierce pair of purple patent leather boots that matched the purplish sweater that I had on so the plan was to look cute. Any social gathering calls for a fab outfit because let's face it I don't get invited out anywhere very often these days. I took solace in the fact that my friend didn't require me to remove my boots and I immediately sat down when offered a seat because the pointy toe on those boots were killing me.
She started making a fizzy punch beverage by slicing some limes with a fancy blade contraption and one of the other guests began talking about all the Pampered Chef items she already owned. Within 20 minutes of her gabbing during the cooking demonstration we all discovered that she was originally from Chicago and pronounces certain words differently, was in a long-term relationship with her boyfriend who is 4 years younger than her and who she has no intentions of marrying or having children with him because she's a 20th century girl whatever that means. She has also been to 8 parties in the last year so she was a Pampered Chef expert in her own right and probably helped raise my friend's sales by 30%.
Once she started making some little toasted sandwiches, another guest pipped up saying how wonderful she thought a cookie scooper would be when making hundreds of Christmas cookies with her kids. Another guest was gushing about how easily she could measure things with some fancy measuring cup that she had on display. Then another guest added how easily she could ice a cake with their fancy spatula. "Who are these people?" I thought to myself. "And what is a spatula?" They had boyfriends and spouses and children to feed. They actually cook dinner for their families. The only utensils I own are a Pampered Chef ice cream scooper (cause it really it the best and because I eat sorbet sometimes) and 10-20 take out menus because I would starve if I didn't order my food from someone who has already cooked it for me.
They all whipped out their checkbooks at the end of the demonstration and ordered up a storm. I looked through the catalogue twice and all I wanted to buy where a set of polk-a-dot martini glasses simply for the fact that they looked cute and were on sale for less than $30. When did they learn all of this stuff? Aren't I supposed to have the desire to make my own chicken marsala? (Is that a real dish?)My mom attempted to teach me how to cook when I was younger but it was a disaster so she just made loading and emptying the dishwasher my job and prayed that I would someday meet a man without a stomach so my inadequacies would not be exposed.
I then popped a chocolate raspberry tart in my mouth that she made for dessert and added can't cook to the never ending list of reasons why I'm still single that I keep in my head. I'm the Pampered Schmuck. I've found that people ask me that question alot when they see me lately so I like to be prepared with something partially witty yet painfully truthful. "Why haven't you met someone yet?" Because all the available men are taking a cooking class that I cannot pass. "Why hasn't some great guy snatched you up yet?" Because I may kill him by serving him undercooked meat since I was too cheap to buy the meat thermometer. Lucky for me I still manage to survive on Panera and McDonald's alone.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Bad Day
Well it's finally happened. Today I had my first bad day at work on my new job. Up until now I have certainly had my fair share of days when I felt incredibly overwhelmed with all of the new things I have had to learn but it was just a byproduct of training. Today I began my 8th week as an HR representative and I felt like a total failure. Everything that could go wrong totally did.
I came in this morning and before I could even set my purse down Donna one of my co-workers came in all flustered wondering who had entered information into the system for something she usually handles herself. It was me so I gave her the folder with the information in it. I of course forgot to copy the papers we got before sending the originals to the higher ups for review which is kind of a big deal since we don't actually get that paperwork back from them. She was able to get it back from our director before she took it into her meeting so the crisis was averted.
Donna came back into my office to have me make some changes to the information I entered onto the agenda for the directors' meeting. I made the changes and she asked me to send the corrected version out to all of the directors for the meeting that would be taking place in 10 minutes. I sent a friendly little email letting them know that I was sending a corrected copy. I immediately got an email back from our chief financial officer saying that the corrected copy was not attached. Of course I had been in such a rush to send it out that I actually forgot to attach the dang thing to the email. I had to send another message apologizing for my first message which was missing the document and then attached it. This is a big deal because our chief financial officer is our director's boss and she likes everything to be done precise and correct meaning no errors whatsoever. I have heard from every single person in our department to drop everything when she calls or emails you because whatever she needs is always a priority. I was able to get the email with the corrected document out to everyone 5 minutes before the meeting so crisis second averted.
I put away my lean cuisine pizza in the freezer for lunch and came back to my desk to put up my Christmas wreath which I had been very excited about all weekend because it was fun and I like decorating my office. I sat down to check my emails and two more of my co-workers came in to ask me if I made a copy of something else I had entered into the system. I hadn't but to be honest no one ever told me that I was supposed to copy those before entering them in. After some investigating they realized that this is something that Donna usually does before giving them to me so I actually would not have known to do it. The reason they weren't copied was because they came through the week that Donna was gone. This is a big deal because that copy goes to payroll and without it someone won't get paid. There were only two of them so they were able to make the copies and send them to payroll right away. Third crisis averted.
After the director's meeting my supervisor came into my office to ask me to change the font on certain areas on the agenda were the physicians' names were not wrapped around in the spreadsheet. I noticed it was that way for weeks but the person who trained me to do this never fixed it and no one ever said that they didn't like the way it looked so I left it that way. Of course today it was noticed and now they think that I was careless and didn't proof the agenda before I sent it out. She acted like it wasn't a big deal but I imagine it was our chief financial officer who pointed it out and asked that it be changed so actually it is important. I went in and fixed it to make sure it looks perfect for next week though so crisis four averted. All of this happened within the first hour of my day by the way.
Later this afternoon one of my co-workers was checking my work to make sure everything was correct. She had about 5 changes to make on some forms I completed but went on to say that it wasn't completely my fault because the paperwork I used to complete the forms was filled out incorrectly by the department. That's all fine and dandy but being handed something you worked on with red marks all over it never feels good.
I usually stay at least 15 minutes late to finish up things in preparation for the next day but I could not get out of there fast enough today. I drove home and decided to write about my sucky day as a way to vent and promised myself not to revisit at all for the rest of the evening. I will likely think about it later tonight but tomorrow is a new day and I will leave all these negative thoughts behind and vow to do better because that's really all I can do. Did I mention that I dialed the number for my co-worker Steve when I really meant to call my co-worker Lisa? I got their extensions mixed up because they are similar. Luckily he laughed about it and Lisa wasn't even at her desk.
The funny thing is last Friday I was just told by my supervisor and other co-workers how well they thought I was doing. In fact, they were impressed at how well I was taking initiative to do things and I was doing them much better than expected and then today happens. It is discouraging to say the least. I am trying so hard and it is imperative that I do well here because my whole career just may literally depend on it. I'm probably being too hard on myself but if I'm not I'm afraid that I will slip up and do something wrong....oh wait, that happened anyways. One thing I can promise you is that I will never forget to make a copy ever again in my life!
I came in this morning and before I could even set my purse down Donna one of my co-workers came in all flustered wondering who had entered information into the system for something she usually handles herself. It was me so I gave her the folder with the information in it. I of course forgot to copy the papers we got before sending the originals to the higher ups for review which is kind of a big deal since we don't actually get that paperwork back from them. She was able to get it back from our director before she took it into her meeting so the crisis was averted.
Donna came back into my office to have me make some changes to the information I entered onto the agenda for the directors' meeting. I made the changes and she asked me to send the corrected version out to all of the directors for the meeting that would be taking place in 10 minutes. I sent a friendly little email letting them know that I was sending a corrected copy. I immediately got an email back from our chief financial officer saying that the corrected copy was not attached. Of course I had been in such a rush to send it out that I actually forgot to attach the dang thing to the email. I had to send another message apologizing for my first message which was missing the document and then attached it. This is a big deal because our chief financial officer is our director's boss and she likes everything to be done precise and correct meaning no errors whatsoever. I have heard from every single person in our department to drop everything when she calls or emails you because whatever she needs is always a priority. I was able to get the email with the corrected document out to everyone 5 minutes before the meeting so crisis second averted.
I put away my lean cuisine pizza in the freezer for lunch and came back to my desk to put up my Christmas wreath which I had been very excited about all weekend because it was fun and I like decorating my office. I sat down to check my emails and two more of my co-workers came in to ask me if I made a copy of something else I had entered into the system. I hadn't but to be honest no one ever told me that I was supposed to copy those before entering them in. After some investigating they realized that this is something that Donna usually does before giving them to me so I actually would not have known to do it. The reason they weren't copied was because they came through the week that Donna was gone. This is a big deal because that copy goes to payroll and without it someone won't get paid. There were only two of them so they were able to make the copies and send them to payroll right away. Third crisis averted.
After the director's meeting my supervisor came into my office to ask me to change the font on certain areas on the agenda were the physicians' names were not wrapped around in the spreadsheet. I noticed it was that way for weeks but the person who trained me to do this never fixed it and no one ever said that they didn't like the way it looked so I left it that way. Of course today it was noticed and now they think that I was careless and didn't proof the agenda before I sent it out. She acted like it wasn't a big deal but I imagine it was our chief financial officer who pointed it out and asked that it be changed so actually it is important. I went in and fixed it to make sure it looks perfect for next week though so crisis four averted. All of this happened within the first hour of my day by the way.
Later this afternoon one of my co-workers was checking my work to make sure everything was correct. She had about 5 changes to make on some forms I completed but went on to say that it wasn't completely my fault because the paperwork I used to complete the forms was filled out incorrectly by the department. That's all fine and dandy but being handed something you worked on with red marks all over it never feels good.
I usually stay at least 15 minutes late to finish up things in preparation for the next day but I could not get out of there fast enough today. I drove home and decided to write about my sucky day as a way to vent and promised myself not to revisit at all for the rest of the evening. I will likely think about it later tonight but tomorrow is a new day and I will leave all these negative thoughts behind and vow to do better because that's really all I can do. Did I mention that I dialed the number for my co-worker Steve when I really meant to call my co-worker Lisa? I got their extensions mixed up because they are similar. Luckily he laughed about it and Lisa wasn't even at her desk.
The funny thing is last Friday I was just told by my supervisor and other co-workers how well they thought I was doing. In fact, they were impressed at how well I was taking initiative to do things and I was doing them much better than expected and then today happens. It is discouraging to say the least. I am trying so hard and it is imperative that I do well here because my whole career just may literally depend on it. I'm probably being too hard on myself but if I'm not I'm afraid that I will slip up and do something wrong....oh wait, that happened anyways. One thing I can promise you is that I will never forget to make a copy ever again in my life!
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