I Quit

As I was leaving the office early on Friday to enjoy some much needed time off I was asked a very poignant question by one of my co-workers. "Why do you spend so much time working overtime and going above and beyond when it will get you nowhere here?" Although it was asked in a very disparaging way it was a fair question. It's true that for over a year now most every day I've been arriving at work an hour early, working through much of my lunch hour, and staying at least an hour after the end of the workday.  It didn't used to be this way. When I started working there nearly 3 years ago I worked 8:00-4:30pm and seemed to get everything done that I truly needed to within that time frame. I would only occasionally work overtime which is to be expected of an exempt position. Then a year into my position, my co-worked decided to have lap band surgery which meant she would be out for 10 weeks. (You may remember her from some of my previous posts where I refer to her as lap band so for the sake of consistency I will continue to do so here.)

Initially it was quite overwhelming because she had attempted to train me for this very scenario but I never expected that she would actually take this much time off. After a few weeks playing the role of 2 employees I got used to putting in the extra hours but more importantly I became very good at my job. They even gave me a little extra money because I was taking on so much work for an extended period of time. I learned so many things that I would not have otherwise had I not been thrown into the deep end like I was. The problem was, when lap band returned from her medical leave, she never took back the duties that were meant to be handed over to me temporarily nor did I continue to receive extra pay for doing them. At first they wanted to ease her back into the daily grind so they asked me to continue to help her out while she got re-acclimated into the office. I'm not sure how long you should expect someone to do this but she most definitely did not do it within the week time frame that I expected. Over the 3 months that followed she went on 2 separate week long vacations, called in "sick" several times, and went on a series of dates thanks to her ambitious Match.com activities. This did result in her meeting the current "love of her life" who both resembles and has the social graces of Sasquatch.

Since she now had a boyfriend the quality of the little work she did began to slip. She was rarely prepared for meetings, she conveniently forgot to do half of the things assigned to her, and management could never find her in her office because she was usually down the hallway torturing a fellow co-worker with the details of her and Sasquatch's sexual escapades. In most cases you would assume that all this ridiculous behavior would result in discipline but you know what they say about those who assume. Instead of requiring more of her they just expected me to do everything she wasn't. This happened mainly because our boss has a soft spot for her thanks to the friendship they have outside the office but it also happened because I didn't object the way I should have. They began completely bypassing her to give me the most urgent assignments because they knew I would get it done and quickly at that. A part of me liked that because I began to get exposure to some of the top administrators in our organization and it gave me a chance to really shine but that hasn't amounted to anything besides the occasional "Thanks!".

I have no one but myself to blame for this. They have taken advantage of my talents and I let them but I have a habit of doing that in my personal life as well. My mom is the same way in her personal life so I learned by example, however, in her work life she took crap from no one so I got my strong work ethic from her as well just not the nerve to speak up for myself. I work at the same level as lap band but I haven't received a promotion to her title or salary. I was told that I would if they can find the budget for it. They haven't. In fact we had another employee resign months ago and they haven't refilled her position because they say they don't have the budget for it so now there are more of us on the team who are overworked and underpaid. Why do I continue to reward them with my amazing work ethic? Because I believe it's what I've been called to do at least for now. I prayed for years that God would give me the opportunity to work in this career field and after 7 years of prayer and working other jobs that I hated in hopes of getting my foot in the door somewhere, He finally gave me my chance. There's a reason I got this job and none of the others that I applied for at that time. When I accepted the job I don't think I could have fully understood all that I had signed up for but I guess the same could be said of marriage. From what my married friends tell me in marriage you come across things in the relationship that you never would imagine that you would be dealing with but you took a vow of for better or for worse so you try to work through it. That's what I've done in my current position but now I'm ready for a divorce.

I try my best to be a person of integrity so just because I work with people who are lazy doesn't mean that I have to be. I am friends with another co-worker who was put in the same situation but after seeing that she received nothing for her hard work she simply refused to do it. I don't blame her for that but I don't think it's fair that others have to suffer because of it. I have an obligation to serve the employees of our organization so while I'm here I will do that to the best of my ability. I refuse to conform to a life of complacency to prove a point. Call me divergent if you must. I don't plan to let this go on forever. As a matter of fact I had already started to plan my escape as a new year's resolution but I must admit it was mostly fantasy until now. After being asked this question staying indefinitely is no longer an option. We accept what we believe we deserve and I learned awhile ago that I deserve more than what I had been getting in love and the same is true for my career. I have a date in mind of when I plan to move out of state and plan to do so whether I have another job set up or not. This is quite scary but not nearly as frightening as staying would be. The only thing getting me through the day is knowing that I will relish in the looks on every one's faces when I tell them "I quit."

This week's obsession is a strapless bustier dress that comes to us courtesy of Alice & Olivia. It's pretty simple and very short but super cute and the leather trim adds a nice touch. I don't have the legs to pull this off nor the money as this retails at $396 but I guess it's nice knowing that this exists in all it's adorable glory.