32

This past Friday was my 32nd birthday. Ever since my 29th birthday I've spent the week before my big day thinking of all the things I haven't accomplished that I thought I would have by this age. It's a new form of torture I've discovered. Unfortunately the list seems to grow longer each year. Here's what I have so far: Get married, buy a house, go to Hawaii, move to another city, learn how to change a tire, increase my annual salary by 35%, run a marathon (or maybe just a 5K I mean let's get real), go to Paris, have a baby, get a new job, buy my 1st (and likely only) Louis Vuitton handbag, be comfortable in my own skin, buy a brand new car, own an iPad, have a rough draft of my 1st book, learn how to drive a stick shift, go to a Coldplay concert, overcome my fear of public speaking, & grow my hair out long enough to put it up in a sock bun. This last one makes me the saddest of all because every girl at the very least should have the option of putting her hair up in a sock bun. The interesting thing is I'm not necessarily sure that I want all of these things anymore but the fact that I haven't done them makes me kinda sad.

Regardless a birthday is the only day a year when you get to shamelessly celebrate yourself so I always make sure to do just that. I took 2 days off from work which quite honestly was gift enough but I spent Thursday at my favorite spot the spa at the Four Seasons. I went early enough so I could soak in both the whirlpool and the indoor heated pool by myself without fear of total strangers seeing me in my swimsuit. It's only April and I can't take that kind of pressure until June at the earliest. I had a wonderful massage by a woman named Nancy who was quite concerned about the amount of tension I had in my shoulders. I'm glad that someone cares about all the horrible side effects my job is causing me. I then ended my spa experience by having my lip and chin waxed. It is uncomfortable but necessary and I love any excuse to get and see Emily my favorite esthetician. She used to work for Chanel beauty so she knows all the best products to use including a $110 face moisturizer she suggested I use whenever I'm out in the sun. I would have purchased it had I not already planned on doing a little retail therapy after leaving the hotel.

After my spa services, I went upstairs to Cielo the hotel restaurant to have lunch which is always a special treat because they have the most attentive staff and delicious a la carte menu with all fresh ingredients. I enjoyed a tomato and white bean soup with pesto, a turkey sandwich with cranberry compote, bacon, and baby spinach on a ciabatta bun, truffle parmesan chips served warm, and a specialty cocktail from the bar called Lover's Potion which had red velvet vodka as one of the ingredients. I really feel like I should eat like that everyday now. To top of a wonderful lunch the general manager came to my table to wish me a happy birthday, the bar manager (a hottie named Ryan who was dressed perfectly for a casual lunch in the city on a Thursday afternoon) did the same, and their pastry team brought out a cupcake and chocolate mousse-filled waffle cone that you see pictured above. I scarfed down the entire thing in 5 minutes and let me tell you it wasn't pretty but it tasted amazing. The most entertaining part of the meal was eavesdropping on the two 60 something women at the table next to me who were also there enjoying a spa day together. They ordered a bottle of Merlot and proceeded to giggle throughout the rest of the meal enjoying each other's company. There's something so special about friendship between women and I am making it a point this year to nurture the few but meaningful friendships in my life.

After my spa day I headed over to Kate Spade where I had only intended to buy an iPhone case for my new phone but they were having their Friends & Family sale so I picked up 2 iPhone cases and an ice cream cone clutch that originally retailed for $328 but I snagged it at 60% off. I ventured down to White House Black Market looking for an adorable bow belt that had sold out online and they had one left on the mannequin in my size so I snatched that up before anyone else realized how cute it was. Finally I headed over to J.Crew to see Liz my favorite personal shopper who is now the store manager. She had waited for 3 years for that job to open up and it finally did. They were taking an additional 40% off sale items so I found a shirt with a small bedazzled bow on the neckline to buy because why not? I forgot to mention that it was raining cats and dogs the entire day but it didn't even bother me because I was in the city and I was enjoying myself.

My actual birthday was the next day and it was much less glamorous. It was 30 degrees outside and I actually saw snow flurries. Ridiculous. My mother took me out to breakfast and then I went back home to watch some TV and take a nap which was peaceful and I was grateful for the time to relax. I was at my parents' house and saw my father that day but he didn't wish me a happy birthday nor did he attempt to celebrate with us but it's been that way for the past 5 years so at least he's consistent. We then drove an hour out of town to have dinner at my favorite Mexican restaurant only to find that it had closed a month ago due to a failed health inspection. I was disappointed because I had my heart set on going there for the past 3 weeks and it was also quite unsettling to know the reason why it wasn't open. I drove an hour back home starving and had fast food for my birthday dinner. It was quite depressing so I have chosen to remember the day before my birthday as my actual 32nd birthday.

It should be noted that the one bright spot in my day outside of gratuitous Facebook greetings, was a special package I received from my dear friend Sarah and her 3 adorable little girls. They sent me several small gifts each with a card attached explaining its significance and I loved every single part of it. Giving a gift like that took thought and time and it is rare to have someone show kindness to me in such a way. I'm not sure what lies ahead of me this year but hopefully I will be able to check a few things of the list of things I didn't do when I was 31. I think I should start with being comfortable in my own skin. This might take awhile.

This week's obsession is this black and white contrast belt that I got from Black House White Market. Isn't it cute? I plan on pairing this with just about everything. It makes my waist look smaller and it adds a little chicness to the overall outfit. It retails at $48 so real people can afford it. Hurry and get one before they're gone!

I Quit

As I was leaving the office early on Friday to enjoy some much needed time off I was asked a very poignant question by one of my co-workers. "Why do you spend so much time working overtime and going above and beyond when it will get you nowhere here?" Although it was asked in a very disparaging way it was a fair question. It's true that for over a year now most every day I've been arriving at work an hour early, working through much of my lunch hour, and staying at least an hour after the end of the workday.  It didn't used to be this way. When I started working there nearly 3 years ago I worked 8:00-4:30pm and seemed to get everything done that I truly needed to within that time frame. I would only occasionally work overtime which is to be expected of an exempt position. Then a year into my position, my co-worked decided to have lap band surgery which meant she would be out for 10 weeks. (You may remember her from some of my previous posts where I refer to her as lap band so for the sake of consistency I will continue to do so here.)

Initially it was quite overwhelming because she had attempted to train me for this very scenario but I never expected that she would actually take this much time off. After a few weeks playing the role of 2 employees I got used to putting in the extra hours but more importantly I became very good at my job. They even gave me a little extra money because I was taking on so much work for an extended period of time. I learned so many things that I would not have otherwise had I not been thrown into the deep end like I was. The problem was, when lap band returned from her medical leave, she never took back the duties that were meant to be handed over to me temporarily nor did I continue to receive extra pay for doing them. At first they wanted to ease her back into the daily grind so they asked me to continue to help her out while she got re-acclimated into the office. I'm not sure how long you should expect someone to do this but she most definitely did not do it within the week time frame that I expected. Over the 3 months that followed she went on 2 separate week long vacations, called in "sick" several times, and went on a series of dates thanks to her ambitious Match.com activities. This did result in her meeting the current "love of her life" who both resembles and has the social graces of Sasquatch.

Since she now had a boyfriend the quality of the little work she did began to slip. She was rarely prepared for meetings, she conveniently forgot to do half of the things assigned to her, and management could never find her in her office because she was usually down the hallway torturing a fellow co-worker with the details of her and Sasquatch's sexual escapades. In most cases you would assume that all this ridiculous behavior would result in discipline but you know what they say about those who assume. Instead of requiring more of her they just expected me to do everything she wasn't. This happened mainly because our boss has a soft spot for her thanks to the friendship they have outside the office but it also happened because I didn't object the way I should have. They began completely bypassing her to give me the most urgent assignments because they knew I would get it done and quickly at that. A part of me liked that because I began to get exposure to some of the top administrators in our organization and it gave me a chance to really shine but that hasn't amounted to anything besides the occasional "Thanks!".

I have no one but myself to blame for this. They have taken advantage of my talents and I let them but I have a habit of doing that in my personal life as well. My mom is the same way in her personal life so I learned by example, however, in her work life she took crap from no one so I got my strong work ethic from her as well just not the nerve to speak up for myself. I work at the same level as lap band but I haven't received a promotion to her title or salary. I was told that I would if they can find the budget for it. They haven't. In fact we had another employee resign months ago and they haven't refilled her position because they say they don't have the budget for it so now there are more of us on the team who are overworked and underpaid. Why do I continue to reward them with my amazing work ethic? Because I believe it's what I've been called to do at least for now. I prayed for years that God would give me the opportunity to work in this career field and after 7 years of prayer and working other jobs that I hated in hopes of getting my foot in the door somewhere, He finally gave me my chance. There's a reason I got this job and none of the others that I applied for at that time. When I accepted the job I don't think I could have fully understood all that I had signed up for but I guess the same could be said of marriage. From what my married friends tell me in marriage you come across things in the relationship that you never would imagine that you would be dealing with but you took a vow of for better or for worse so you try to work through it. That's what I've done in my current position but now I'm ready for a divorce.

I try my best to be a person of integrity so just because I work with people who are lazy doesn't mean that I have to be. I am friends with another co-worker who was put in the same situation but after seeing that she received nothing for her hard work she simply refused to do it. I don't blame her for that but I don't think it's fair that others have to suffer because of it. I have an obligation to serve the employees of our organization so while I'm here I will do that to the best of my ability. I refuse to conform to a life of complacency to prove a point. Call me divergent if you must. I don't plan to let this go on forever. As a matter of fact I had already started to plan my escape as a new year's resolution but I must admit it was mostly fantasy until now. After being asked this question staying indefinitely is no longer an option. We accept what we believe we deserve and I learned awhile ago that I deserve more than what I had been getting in love and the same is true for my career. I have a date in mind of when I plan to move out of state and plan to do so whether I have another job set up or not. This is quite scary but not nearly as frightening as staying would be. The only thing getting me through the day is knowing that I will relish in the looks on every one's faces when I tell them "I quit."

This week's obsession is a strapless bustier dress that comes to us courtesy of Alice & Olivia. It's pretty simple and very short but super cute and the leather trim adds a nice touch. I don't have the legs to pull this off nor the money as this retails at $396 but I guess it's nice knowing that this exists in all it's adorable glory.

Baby Invasion

This past week at work was the worst. We only have a staff of 20 people to meet the human resource needs of 1,500 employees and since our managers aren't aware that you can refuse someone's vacation request if other people have already requested the same days off, they allowed half of our staff to be out this week leaving us with quite the skeleton crew. Seeing as how my counterpart at work rarely does anything she's supposed to do, I am already accustomed to doing the work of 2 people so covering for another 5 felt just like any other day in our office. Things were so crazy I didn't even get to take a lunch break at all this week so my stress level was at an all time high. On Tuesday afternoon I went up to the reception area to mail out some letters and before I could make it across the room of my co-workers called out, "Stephanie come look at the baby!". I turned around and saw that they were all huddled around a woman that works across the hall and she was holding up a newborn just like Mufasa raised up baby Simba.

I was immediately annoyed because I was in the middle of working on 5 different things and I just wanted to go back to my office and scream but I put on a smile and went over there out of some unwritten obligation that is invisibly listed in every employee handbook across the country. When someone brings a baby into the office you must go and look at it. Unfortunately this unwritten rule does not specify how long one must stand there faking excitement and interest so I always awkwardly find a way to leave the situation about 2 minutes after I've arrived.

Don't get me wrong I don't feel this disdain for all babies just most. I make exceptions for the children of my close friends because I like them and don't feel like I should hold it against them that they have replaced a percentage of their love for me with the love of their child. Since I only consider about 5 people in this world close friends, my criteria for accepting other babies is quite strict. They have to be absurdly adorable, wearing designer layettes, smell like jasmine, or be the child of a celebrity. The problem I had with this particular infant was the fact that I didn't know her or her mother. I can usually feign interest in looking at the baby of someone I know but this baby was a complete random to me. To make matters worse, this child was the granddaughter of the woman from across the hall. Please note that I don't even know the woman's name. Our only interaction in the 3 years I've worked there happened a few weeks ago when she gave me a refund because the vending machine ate my dollar without giving me my fruit snacks. That is literally the extent of my relationship with her. This means that I was asked to stop what I was doing and admire a baby brought in by someone who doesn't even work here. I refuse to fawn over a child in the workplace if they aren't on an insurance plan paid for by our employer. This begs the question, why does society expect us to ooh and aah over the mere presence of a baby? If I don't know the child or didn't give birth to it why should I care otherwise?

The baby invasion didn't stop there. At church this morning our pastor brought his 17 day old grandson to the platform to show him off and to use him as an illustration for his sermon. He was trying to explain to the congregation that when we are born again as Christians we are essentially babies in our spiritual walk but we are meant to grow in our relationship with Christ just as babies grow. He made a very good point. He also stood there cradling his grandson for 20 minutes while I was trying to record the sermon notes posted behind him on the screen and all the baby lovers in the room cheered with each stretch of the baby's tiny arms. I couldn't handle it.

The worst thing someone can do is ask me if I'd like to hold a baby. First of all, I'm always surprised that any part of my demeanor makes them think that would be a good idea. I honestly equate seeing someone walking towards me holding a baby to seeing someone walk into the room with a bomb strapped to their chest. My anxiety level is exactly the same in both situations. Am I the only one? Babies wiggle around so much I could very easily drop it and what if I hurt it or worse what if it starts crying and won't stop? My ears can't handle that. What if I don't thoroughly sanitize my hands and I give it the sniffles? Babies are everywhere. In the booth next to me at Red Lobster. At the end of the aisle in Target. Hiding under the manicurist table at the spa. Sitting in a car seat on the floor at a midnight showing of Divergent. Nowhere is safe and there is nowhere to hide. How does one survive in the land of babes without the appropriate instructions and a guide?

The funny thing is if I see a puppy I squeal with delight and if that puppy is wearing an article of clothing and being tugged by a Burberry leash, I generally pass out with joy. What does that say about me? Actually don't answer that. In an effort to show that I'm not completely opposed to the existence of children, this week's obsessions are a few Easter outfits for kids compliments of Saks Fifth Avenue. These children are so perfectly polished and adorable there's no possible way that they are real. The boy is sporting Ralph Lauren from head to toe including an Oxford blazer, Oxford button up, seersucker shorts, and telly leather loafers. The entire outfit will set you back $290. As for the little girl, she is modeling a color block dress from Armani's kids collection made of beautiful Italian fabric which retails at $310. What better reason to refinance your home than to use the money to dress your children in designer labels?

X-Birthday

I hit a big milestone last week in my journey to move past the breakup with my ex. This past Thursday was his birthday and I didn't contact him via phone or any other social media. I know that doesn't sound like much but it was a big step for me. Keep in mind that he dumped me 3 years ago and up to this point I still contacted him every year on his birthday because I thought it was a nice thing to do. Last year I even brought him a gift and had a friend of mine that still works with him hand deliver it impeccably gift wrapped to him. It was a lifestyle book written by a contributor to GQ magazine and it gave tips on how to be and dress like a gentleman in the modern world. He texted me a thank you (how chivalrous) and asked if it was a subtle dig. It was but I also felt it was an extension of my amazing fashion sense. I know I'm an idiot for doing that but don't worry I still loathe myself for it.

During the 2 years we were together he was the luckiest bastard alive when it came to receiving gifts. We had only been dating one month when we first celebrated his birthday so we went to dinner at Cheddar's and he paid. I did get him a card but didn't feel obligated to get him anything else. Looking back I wish I would have continued to feel that way cause it would have saved me a lot of money. When he came back to my place later that night we shared our first kiss so in hindsight that was actually the best gift of all. The next year I got him a brand new Coach wallet as if a man needs a designer piece of leather to keep his money safe and warm in his back pocket. We women of course need designer handbags because they are an extension of our outfits and always serve as a conversation starter if it's a stunner. Totally different. I believe I also got him some cologne because he is obsessed with smelling good so I always made sure to get him a new one on birthdays and holidays. He loves getting the newest scent from whatever major fashion house is releasing one at the time which was always surprising to me because he is the cheapest man I've ever met.

I always love to give the perfect gift so buying nice gifts wasn't just about him. I get such a strong sense satisfaction from seeing a loved one receive a gift from me and get excited just from seeing the packaging. When they open the gift and grin from ear to ear because I got something that shows how well I know them it's like my very existence is validated. The best of course is bringing an ostentatious baby gift to a shower and having everyone gasp when the mother-to-be opens it. I feel like saying "Your welcome" to everyone for creating such a special yet unnecessary moment at a party celebrating a fetus. I mean what infant really needs to wear Ralph Lauren? Mine of course but since my uterus is not familiar with pregnancy I gift the luxury to other mothers who are brave enough to give birth and take on the responsibility of raising a human.

I never had an actual boyfriend before my relationship with the ex so being able to get a gift for "my man" was very exciting to me. I would always hear about these surprise parties and special plans that my friends would make for the men in their lives and I would take copious mental notes already preparing myself for the day I would meet a great guy worthy of doing that for. I wanted to believe that I had met that guy so I went out of my way to plan little surprise birthday parties at work for him that included me driving an hour and a half just to get the best cookie cake in the area and having it decorated in the colors of his favorite sports team, taking him to the city and indulging him in a mini shopping spree at an upscale mall, paying for dinner at his favorite restaurants, unfortunately the list goes on and on and it makes me very sad. I imagine he probably did stay with me a few months longer than he had intended just to get some more nice things and to make things worse at the time I was ok with that because I thought it would lead to something more but I'm putting that in the past and now we are moving upward and onward or something like that. Today I was told by a 27 year old douche bag that at 31 years old I am already past my prime and as I get older I fear that the odds of me meeting a great guy worthy of all this work declines everyday as does the collagen in my face. Now that I think about it, I should just date myself because at least I know I will be well taken care of.

This week's obsession is this beautiful Cameron Dress in Stripe Silk Organza from where else but my beloved J. Crew. After searching high and low for the perfect dress to wear on Easter I decided on buying this dress to wear on Easter Sunday. It came in the mail last week and it is quite stunning in person. These days people dress pretty casually to church so I will likely stand out in this piece but I think it will be for all the right reasons. Now I am on the hunt for some cute heels to go with it which surprisingly has been harder than I thought. The stores haven't released their best sandals yet even though it's Spring Break season so hopefully they will be unveiling some new stuff in the next week or two. I normally go for a cute wedge because those allow for comfortable wear all day but this dress calls for a slimmer heel that will probably kill my feet after 2 hours of wear but I will cry tears of joy if they look fierce.

Shut the F Up

Recently I've become painfully aware of my increasingly high tolerance for profanity. I grew up in a Christian home where my mother was wary of letting me listen to anything but contemporary Christian music and soft rock. Once I reached my teens she loosened the reigns a little bit and I was allowed to listen to the secular music station although let's face it I used to listen to it well before then I'd just change the station whenever she entered the room. With the freedom to listen to Satan's music also came relaxed rules when it came to movies. She let me watch Clueless when it first came out which really opened the door wide open to my obsession with designer labels and pop culture in general.

Of course with all of this society acceptable entertainment came some cursing here and there. It has been ingrained in me from birth not to curse or to tolerate cursing. Like even the word damn would be banned in my house and technically I don't think that is a curse word. Anyways, I tried to be cool and pretend not to care or notice when I would hear a bad word but inside it was like a dagger to my soul just as my mother intended. Slowly but surely I became more immune to it and even fantasized about actually saying a bad word myself just to fit in with the other church kids rebelling against their parents by listening to unedited rap and rock albums but I never did. After awhile the only word that still got a rise out of me was the F word because for some reason people deem that the worst one of all. To me shit would be the worse curse word of them all because it's synonymous with feces and I personally believe that people should never be talking about it unless they are explaining a physical issue to their primary care physician.

Fast forward to present day when I will publicly admit to having a favorite curse word and that word is the F word. Notice that I still refrain from typing the full word out simply out of respect for my mother who will never read this because she doesn't know what a blog is. After my breakup with the dreaded ex the reality of life became so harsh I no longer could filter my true feelings about anything. That's when my general acceptance of cursing came full circle. In general I still don't curse very often and most of the time it's still under my breath to myself out of respect to those around me. I also don't ever say God dammit because I don't believe that God should be damned just because I'm having a bad day. Besides I find that most people rely to much on cursing instead of using the vocabulary they spent $40,000 perfecting in college. However when I am in the company of friends that I know appreciate and engage in such realness of speech, I do let the profanity fly and I feel safe. The art of cursing appropriately is quite delicate and hard to balance but I think I've mastered it. The key is to only pull out your favorite profane word when you're feeling very passionate about whatever it is you're responding to and you've planned it for perfect comedic timing. You must always curse sparingly if you choose to curse at all.

It wasn't until going to see a performance of Jersey Boys that I realized how tolerant I'd become of cursing. I took my mom to see the show as a part of her Christmas present because she has been dying to see if for years but neither one of us were prepared for the amount of cursing they had in it. She seemed to flinch a little at times with some of the crude language but she loved the music so much she didn't even seem to care. I on the other hand laughed every time they cursed because they nailed the comedic timing of it and because it no longer phases me. As a side note, if you ever get the opportunity to see this show I highly recommend it. I imagine that when my Christian friends read this they will read me the riot act and say that I am being a bad influence in a medium that is being viewed by a lost world. That isn't entirely untrue as I readily admit to encouraging my fellow fashionistas to go without eating a meal or two before ever passing up the chance to snag a fabulous piece of clothing or a must have accessory that is out of your budget if the Spirit or Rachel Zoe leads you to do so. I don't however believe that it's ruining my witness to others because I'm being honest. I'm not exactly sure how God feels about this nasty little habit that I've acquired but I imagine that if I'm actively doing my best to do whatever it is He's called me to do He'll let a few F bombs slide right?

Today's obsession is this fit and flare strapless bridesmaid dress I just bought from J. Crew as a part of some random promotion they were running this weekend. No I am not going to be in a wedding this summer but I fell in love with the silhouette and the gorgeous color. There are hundreds of ways you could easily style this so I know I will get a lot of wear out of it. Unfortunately it's back ordered until July but given the current Polar Vortex we've been experiencing I don't expect the weather to adequately warm up until around then. Also, the description of it online says it twirls quite nicely on the dance floor and if you know me at all you know that I've never met a dance floor that I didn't like.

Put A Ring On It

This year I've been trying to embrace my singleness because I've finally come to terms with the fact that, much like my student loans, it's not going away any time soon. While embracing my singledom I feel that I must also acknowledge the varying levels of single person behavior (SPB) that I engage in. I of course partake in the usual SPB crimes such as eating in bed, falling asleep with the tv on, and deeming a jar of peanut butter a completely balanced meal but there are others I have done that I used to qualify for complete shame. In an effort to be transparent I feel the need to expose one of these behaviors so that I may ask forgiveness from the gods that solve 1st world problems while I continue to shamelessly do this. I, on occasion, wear a fake engagement ring. Go ahead and let the judgement begin.

Let me first say that I started wearing this accessory not out of desperation to fit in with all of my engaged/married friends but I wore it simply out of pure vanity. I spotted the sparkler a few years ago on QVC. Watching QVC is another SPB that I engage in whenever they have a Diamonique Epiphany Collection show because all the items are super cheap but look like the real thing. I don't normally buy anything because I just like looking at sparkly things while I eat my lean cuisines on a tv tray but for some reason that night I felt compelled to buy something. At the advice of my favorite QVC host Lisa Roberts, I hopped online and purchased a cushion 100-facet solitaire ring that was on easy pay for two payments of $24.00. I simply couldn't pass it up.

I put it on the day it came in the mail and surprisingly it sparkled on my little finger exactly like it did on my tv screen. I had planned to take it off and put it back in the box to keep it looking shiny but I completely forgot that I had it on and went to Wendy's to get something for dinner. When I pulled up to the drive-thru window some wannabe thug cashier tried to hit on me while taking my money. The second he finished giving me his lame pick up line he quickly recanted and said "Hey yo I'm sorry I didn't know you had a man." I had no idea what he was talking about until I looked down at my hand and realized I still had my new sparkler on. He thought it was an engagement ring. Not only is this ring beautiful and realistic, it scares off creeps. This is awesome! After that incident I started seeing my little investment in a whole new light. I couldn't think quick enough on my feet to make up a story about a fake fiancé so I just said thank you to anyone who assumed the ring was a real representation of a relationship.

I couldn't get away with playing this game anywhere in my little town where people know me so I wore the ring to a J. Crew in the city one day and my personal shopper congratulated me on my imaginary engagement. At the time I was in what can loosely be described as an online relationship with a complete loser and the thought of actually being engaged to him still makes me dry heave to this day but the fact that people loved the ring actually made me smile. For a few moments I knew what it felt like to be the woman that a man wanted so much he was willing to spend his hard earned money on a shallow bauble and commit his life to her. It was then understood why even people in rocky or shallow relationships flaunt their engagements, the praise they get from total strangers really helps feed their insecurities!

After having a little fun I realized that I would have to really limit the amount of time I wore the ring because I certainly couldn't keep up the charade of an engagement to a man who didn't exist. The funny thing is I refuse to try on wedding dresses or real diamond rings just for fun because I am certain that it will jinx me and I'll never actually get married. I now only wear the ring at home every now and then when I'm feeling low. It still gives me a little sense of comfort that one day it still might happen for me and what it might feel like. I also get to imagine that any man I want is my fiancé. Currently I imagine that it's Chris Pine. I'm glad to finally have that off my chest. Just so you know I fully plan on continuing to wear it at home while cleaning, eating, sleeping, praying, dancing, laughing, or just dreaming because I'm single and I can do whatever I want.

To stay with the ring theme, this week's fashion find is this Epiphany Diamonique Double Halo Pink Ring courtesy of QVC. I would love to buy this but I haven't yet had a moment low enough in my life this year where I thought buying this was a good idea. It's actually on clearance for $48 but I've been eyeing a pair of Coach booties that are on sale for double the cost of this fake bauble so a tough decision will have to be made but I can promise you those booties will be on my doorstep next week if they still have my size come payday. I have provided a picture of them below. Please feel free to salivate as needed.

Hello Again

Hello all,

I hope the new year finds you well. We are 5 days in and I've yet to do anything I completely regret so I still have high hopes for 2014. I've also been on vacation since Christmas so I imagine my optimisim will wane quickly when I go back to work on Monday morning. I know it has been nearly 5 months since my last post and I apologize for my silence. Life had become uncharacteristically busy for me and my blog had to take a backseat to real world commitments. Real life sucks. I'd much rather be typing out my dreams and fantasies instead of sitting at my desk at work realizing that 80% of them will probably never come true. Not to fear though I am back and anxious to share stories about the adventures I've been on during the last few months. In true fashion they include several embarrassing moments, personal failures, daily annoyances, epiphanies, and my personal favorite continued rejection from men. I used to think that God was punishing me by allowing me to have all of these embarrassing dating experiences but now I take it in stride. I'm not so unfortunate looking that men wince when they see me, they've never referred to me as crazy or clingy which I think works in my favor, and most importantly the more dates I go on, failures or not, the more opportunties I have to buy and wear fierce outfits that I don't actually need. Basically God is allowing this all to happen for your entertainment so be sure to look up and thank Him when you get a chance. See we all win.

I myself don't normally make any resolutions but I fully support others who do. Weight loss is probably the most popular one and we are all now inundated with hundreds of commercials promising incredible results if we will simply take a pill that may or may not destroy our internal organs, work out nonstop for 5 hours a day, or frolic around a field with Jessica Simpson and her Weight Watchers plan. I have been able to stick with a regular workout routine thanks to Jillian Michaels and her wealth of videos but I always like to keep my eye out on new things to break up the monotony a little because I actually hate working out and contrary to popular belief it makes me sweat not glisten. Rachel Zoe and her team like to come up with a list of chic accessories every now and then to help fashionistas get excited about physical fitness. In her latest email she provided links to 10 different items all sure to make exercise feel fabulous. Although the $135 jump rope was tempting (not at all), my favorite is the Alexander McQueen skull printed towel that I have pictured above. She suggests that you take this along with you to cool down at the gym and it will only cost you a mere $295. Seriously? I guess this is how the wealthy rid themselves of sweat after a workout. If I was going to spend that much on a towel I certainly wouldn't dry my body with it. More than likely I would use it as a throw for my couch to discourage guests from sitting there but I would still brag about that fact that it was designer. Now that I think about it I usually feel like I'm going to die after I finish a Jillian Michaels workout so if I actually do end up dying as a result of a one-handed push up I would like my family to wrap my sweaty corpse in this towel.