Blessed Trinity

Yesterday I returned from a 4 day trip to Minnesota to visit Sarah a dear college friend of mine. Our friendship is very important to me because she's one of the few people from college who I've been able to maintain a close relationship with over the years. I have been planning to go up there to see her ever since her wedding 5 years ago but for no real reason except that I never made the time to go I never did. Since this was the Summer of Stephanie I knew I had to finally make the trip to honor my vow of living my life with no regrets. She has since had 2 little girls and is currently hosting a fetus to be born this December. I must admit I was a little nervous to go because it had been quite awhile since I last saw her and I wasn't sure how to navigate the new dynamics of our relationship. I truly enjoyed every moment of my visit and I couldn't have asked for a better hostess. Nothing made me feel more inadequate than witnessing her preparing a home cooked meal every night and having the privilege of joining her husband and children at the dinner table something that my family only does on Thanksgiving and Christmas. 

It also made me realize the amount of work that it takes to raise a family and in reality I am not at all close to being ready to take on that challenge. She would be up with the girls at 6am while sending her husband off to work. Then in no particular order would manage breakfast, bath time, clean up, snacks, outside playtime, dinner prep, lunch time, story time, nap time, more cleaning, another snack, diaper changes, vacuuming, and somehow a long enough break to catch half an episode of What Not to Wear. Not once did she ask me for help and she didn't miss a beat. The most heartwarming part was seeing what took place when her husband got home from work. The second he walked through the door the girls ran to him and he embraced them with the biggest smile you've ever seen. He would put his stuff down and go right outside to play with them until dinner was ready. He would do the same thing after dinner and then put the girls to bed. I couldn't help but think how blessed these young girls were to have a consistent male figure in their lives treat them this way. Now they will grow up knowing how other men should treat them because their father set that example early on. Every girl should have this and I am so glad to know that Sarah found a man that encompasses these qualities and that men like this still exist.

The highlight of my trip had to be the time I got to spend with Sarah's daughters who are ages 1 and 3. The 1 year old Moriah is still learning words so we didn't say a lot to each other but her adorable smile spoke volumes and she seemed to be enamored with my jewelry so we got along just fine. She warmed up to me after about 2 days and reached out to let me hold her. Nothing gives you baby fever more than holding a cute child who appears to like you but once they start drooling on you nothing kills the fantasy faster. Her 3 year old Trinity is in fact a princess in training. She doesn't like to be dirty, she loves to dress up, she loves makeup, and she loves pop music. I must say I haven't found anyone who I have this much in common with in a very long time. Before my arrival Sarah showed her a picture of me to prepare her for my visit I imagine and she said I looked like princess Tiana from Disney's the Princess and the Frog. That is by far the greatest compliment I've ever been given. I only wish I had a crown to wear to make the fantasy complete. Since her birth I've been sending princess dresses to her because I wanted to do something nice for Sarah's girls and because I felt like it was my duty as a fashionista to pass on the tradition. When I came she remembered to thank me for the dresses and even tried to put one of them on. A child is never too young to form his or her own sense of style right?

We went to a Greek festival downtown and she won a blow up guitar by playing some of the kid games they had. When we got home that night Sarah put on some fun music to distract Trinity while she and her husband put the youngest to bed. Trinity invited me to jam with her so I took the ukulele that Moriah got at the festival had and we rocked out to the musical stylings of Taylor Swift, Gym Class Heroes, and the Wanted just to name a few. I can't remember the last time I felt so free. I taught her to whip her hair around and jump up and down just like rock stars do. I'm sure Sarah will thank me for that later. For the first time in a long time I didn't care what anyone thought because I was having fun. I could hear Sarah and her husband behind me and I'm sure they thought I looked like a complete idiot playing a toy instrument and sweating to a James Brown level but Trinity thought I was the coolest girl she had ever met and that made me feel like a rock star. Unfortunately we were only able to have one more jam session the next morning before I left for the airport but I can only hope that she will remember everything I taught her. She still has to find another guitar player, a drummer, and a rapper all on her own to complete the band but I have no doubt she'll come through. Before I left I gave her a few pieces of clothing that I picked up at Crewcuts at the Mall of America including a green shift dress in the spirit of princess Tiana.

Spending time with a child really makes you appreciate life. Trinity is so eager to learn and open to people that she finds intriguing. She doesn't know what prejudice is and she loves with no fear. What if I could learn to live my life with that same level of freedom? I am still very unsure of whether or not I'm mommy material but I did learn during this visit that I still have a place in the life of this very special child even though I'm not a parent, an aunt, a cousin, or a guardian. I'm Stephanie the cool ambiguously older lady who sends fun dresses, wears pretty makeup, and loves to jam to all the latest pop songs and I would be honored to continue to do so if she will have me. I don't have to be any thinner, richer, or be attached to the hottest guy in town just being me is enough to her and that is such an amazing feeling.

This week's pictures feature the apology dinner outfit that I had planned to wear when my ex finally invited me out to dinner to apologize for they way he treated me during the course of our relationship. He not surprisingly has still never called to invite me out as he promised to do this summer but I couldn't let this outfit or these shoes go to waste so I wore them this morning. The skirt and tank are from Ann Taylor Loft, the cardigan is J.Crew, and the shoes are Gianni Binni that I picked up at 40% off at Dillards. My only regret is that he'll never see how good I looked which would have made the apologize that much sweeter.