Spaddiction

Hello, my name is Stephanie and I'm addicted to pampering. As you know I went to the spa at the Four Seasons back in April to celebrate my 30th birthday. I have been keeping in the loop of all the events happening there as they maintain a very active Facebook page and I came across a spa promotion that they were having for the month of June. You could get 3 spa treatments for half the price if you booked the services Monday-Thursday. Things at work had reached a level of stress that I could no longer comprehend so you didn't have to beg me to take a day off work.

I jetted out of town early last Wednesday morning to head to my sanctuary. Unfortunately I got stuck in some traffic once I reached the city which put me nearly 30 minutes behind schedule but still 20 minutes early for my first appointment. I was scheduled to have my first treatment at 9am but I had planned on getting there at 8:15am so I could spend approximately 20 minutes soaking in the whirlpool then 10 minutes relaxing in the sauna followed by 15 minutes thumbing through Vogue magazine in the relaxation room while waiting for my masseuse to come retrieve me. I have yet to reach a level of comfort with my body that allows me to appear in a swimsuit in front of other people so I always book the first appointment of the day knowing it is highly unlikely that anyone else will be there an hour before services are even rendered so I can enjoy the whirlpool without judgement from other spa ladies. I know this sounds ridiculous but this is how my mind works. While I was pulling up to the hotel all I could think about was the fact that I would now only have 10 minutes to soak in the whirlpool which would put a damper on my pampering plans but all that changed when a handsome bellhop came to open my car door.

"Good morning and welcome to the Four Seasons! What brings you in today?" cried the bellhop. As he helped me out of my car I told him I was here to go to the spa and he told me I would have a wonderful time which I knew to be true. I walked into the glass doors past some businessmen and women rushing off to some big meeting I imagine since they can afford to spend the night at the Four Seasons while on business while I was going upstairs to forget all about work. A very chic looking woman checked me in, verified the services I had scheduled, then showed me to the locker room. I quickly changed into my swimsuit so I could savor my 10 minutes of soaking in the whirlpool and thankfully no one was in there. After my time was up I got out of the pool and draped myself in a towel only to find two other spa patrons coming through the pool area. I smiled at them but I could feel the look of panic on my face. I was completely covered but my shoulders were most certainly exposed. Gasp! I'm pretty sure they didn't notice a thing so I stowed away my wet suit, put on the giant robe the receptionist left for me, and walked to the relaxation room where Nancy was waiting to whisk me away for a massage.

Nancy my masseuse for the day was great. Last time I was there I had Robyn who was amazing and I actually saw her on my way to the massage room with Nancy and I started to wonder if my experience would be as pleasant and it definitely was. I had a 30 minute massage and for my second treatment she spent another 30 minutes applying a body polish to my entire body which was very sticky and gritty but it was clearing away all the dirt in my pores and any other general yuckiness that tends to cling onto the skin. She then walked me back to the showers so I could rinse off and I emerged a bright and shiny new woman! Next up was my facial. A bubbly curly-haired woman named Emily came out to take me back for my facial. She had me disrobe and get comfy under the very high thread count sheets that covered the bed. I had never had a facial before so this was a real treat. She started with letting some steam engulf my face and had lavender aroma filling the air. She then applied two different concoctions to my face. She told me what they were and how they were good for my skin but I honestly can't remember because I was so relaxed. After she was finished she allowed me to stay in the room as long as I wanted so I could continue to relax.

I didn't stay too long because I was starving and wanted to see what lunch specials they were serving for the day. I fixed myself up in the locker room and went up to the next floor where the hotel restaurant and bar was located. Note the executive chef is from Italy and I had read countless reviews of how good the food is there. They offered $15 lunch specials during the week so I was enjoying quite the reduced price fancy experience. They have a beautiful rooftop terrace overlooking the pool but I opted to stay inside since it was very hot that day. The waitress who looked like a supermodel sat me right by the window so I could look out onto the terrace at all the sunbathing beauties who were being spritzed with Evian water. I'm not kidding the waitstaff at the pool actually spritz you with Evian water if requested in addition to bringing you any beverage you could imagine & a special menu of appetizers. I really regret not going out there now.

My server was handsome, smiley, and very attentive. I had the soup of the day which was a delicious onion soup served with bread and some type of delicious oil concoction for dipping. Then I chose the Cobb salad as my entree which included grilled chicken, diced eggs, spinach, tomatoes, avocado, feta cheese, & yogurt-limoncello dressing. It was by far the best Cobb salad I've ever had in my life. I'm not a world traveler so no I haven't tasted several Cobb salads; however, this one was amaze! To finish off my meal cute server guy brought over a tray of tiny desserts that are made fresh everyday and only offered during the lunch hour. Apparently offer a different selection of desserts everyday so I was excited to see an offering of strawberry semifreddo, tiramisu, lemon cake, and cheesecake. I honestly wanted to take all four but I appeared the gracious patron and took only the cheesecake. It was delectable!

I left my sanctuary feeling completely refreshed and retrieved my car from the valet who gave me excellent directions of how to get completely around all the construction on the highway that was causing the traffic. Another remarkable experience at the Four Seasons. Yes it is pricey and no I certainly cannot afford to go there as much as I would like but it is worth every single penny I spent. I love the diversity of people who go there. I saw men in Prada suits and families casually dressed having lunch. Everyone I have come in contact with that works there is so friendly and all have interesting personalities. When I'm there I feel like the person I've always wanted to be. Respected, chic, adventurous....unfortunately I am now addicted to spas which really puts a cramp in my fabulous shoe fund.

Shower Season

Summer is officially upon us which means we are well into Wedding & Baby shower season and for the last 10 years of my life I have failed to be immune to it. For some reason this year I have only been invited to one baby shower & one wedding shower so that must mean that nearly everyone I know has finally been married off and started a family. I'm happy for them but celebrating other people lives can get very expensive. I can't help but think that if I added up all the receipts from the past 10 years of gifts, ceremonies, & travel that I've spent celebrating other people's life events it would probably equal enough money to treat myself to a very nice 3 week vacation in Hawaii plus a small shopping spree at Neiman Marcus.

Yesterday I drove 90 miles to celebrate the impending birth of one Lord Bryson with his mother Lacey who became a friend of mine 3 years ago while working at a health insurance company. Lacey is a bubbly sorority girl who was born & raised in a town of about 1800 people. She moved back there after college then met & married a tall freckled face army boy named Brett. They have been trying to have a baby for the past 2 years and after a few failed in-vitro attempts they finally became pregnant and couldn't be happier. I promised her I would come to the shower several months ago when she asked for my address to invite me but as the date grew closer I got a little worried because I knew I would have to face a group of people that I haven't seen in almost a year & my ex still lives there.

I spent 3 and a half years at the insurance company which is really 3 years longer than I should have stayed there and my time there was largely negative. A lot of people there were pretty mean to me not because of anything I said or did but simply for the fact that I was the new girl in town with goals and I didn't engage in petty office drama. I never really fit in with the exception of a few people there who were kind to me and Lacey was one of those individuals. She was always positive and liked to have fun so we got along very well. In fact our friendship actually began because the ex invited her out one Saturday with our little group and we were the only ones who chose to spend the night out on the dancefloor. We requested all the same songs from the DJ and spent the whole night laughing and dancing. We exchanged numbers and the rest as they say is history.

Anyways, her shower was quite the event  as I expected it would be. She is having a boy so everything was blue and adorable. Her husband was there also so they spent the first hour going around to each table to greet everyone while they rest of us sat and mingled. I showed up right on time at 2pm and said a small prayer before I entered the hall hoping that the Lord would give me the strength to make small talk for at least 2 hours. I dropped my gift off at the gift table and spotted a group of girls from my former job. Rachel one of the girls who had been kind to me was there so I said hello to her and was invited to sit town with everyone. I did get a few curious looks at first but surprisingly they all engaged me in friendly conversation. When I resigned from that job I told very few people that I was leaving so I'm sure the rumor mill swirled rather rapidly when they all realized I had left. They did have a lot of questions about where I went what happened but they seemed sincerely interested in what I was doing now. Everything was going great until the mother-to-be stopped by our table for a visit.

Lacey singled me out of the group which was to be expected because she speaks to the other women everyday and she hadn't seen me in about 3 months. I made the usual pregnancy small talk "How are you feeling?" "Are you excited?" "Did you decide to let the baby sleep in a cage?" you know the staple questions and then very loudly in front of everyone she announced that her husband had a guy she wanted me to meet. It's true I would love to meet a good man to date and share my life with but no one wants me to find love more than Lacey. I don't think I've ever given off a desperate vibe as it is rare I ever speak about men at all when I spend time with my friends but she has been on the lookout to find me someone ever since she met me. Apparently Brett has an army friend who is tall, muscly, rides a Harley, and goes by some kind of ridiculous nickname like Python or something. He doesn't sound at all like someone I would be interested in but she said he was cute & single so I guess that's the only important criteria for a 30 something single woman.

It was embarrassing to say the least as I was sitting at a table with 4 other women who had all seemed to find men willing to marry & impregnate them all on their own when they were in there 20's. I must mention that Michelle was sitting at our table who is also in her 30's and single and I think was slightly offended that no man was offered to her. If I'm ever given Python's number I will simply slide it over to her for a good time. Lacey spent about 5 minutes trying to sell him to me and even dragged poor Brett into this mess as he struggled to give me any details about him that I may find interesting. Luckily she dropped it and moved on to the next table. We spent the next two hours eating and watching her open gifts. In my opinion my gift was of course the best because I didn't get her anything practical. She is a big planner so I knew she already had everything she really needed because she had been stocking up on supplies since she was 8 weeks along. I got the baby an Adidas track suit with a matching t-shirt.

After I left the shower I met up with another friendly face Jana & her teenage daughter who I had also worked with and we spent nearly 2 hours catching up. It is so nice to sit and visit with genuine people who you can be open with. I really miss having that in my life on a daily basis. As I drove through the town to go back home my mind was flooded with memories of the dreaded ex. Some places brought back memories of happier times when we were on good terms but there were still several places that brought me to tears remembering the things he said and did that broke my heart. He knew that I was going to be in town and has said that he wanted to see me in person to give me a proper apology. He couldn't even find 10 minutes out of his day to come meet me somewhere and say what he wanted to say which shows me just how little I mean to him. The drive home was pretty depressing as I sat there thinking about that but today is a new day and I have to continue to try and move on which is harder some days than others. Top & skirt are from J.Crew, shoes are Gianni Bini, & jewelry are from Banana Republic.

Aha!

Yesterday I had as Oprah would call it an aha moment. A moment when you are able to look at something from a different point a view or in a new light and you can finally say to yourself " I get it now." I was sitting at my desk at work processing paperwork and listen to sirius radio. I had it on the Pulse station and they play current pop & adult contemporary hits and I was singing to myself and grooving in my chair and it hit me, the reason my ex broke up with me was not my fault. During the breakup I kept going over in my head everything that happened trying to find a reason why he didn't want to be with me. I really believed it somehow had to be my fault because I put so much pressure on myself to make it work when in reality we both had to participate in the relationship to keep it alive.

I had always been the positive one. When he had a crappy day I was the one who would listen to his gripes and try to think of clever ways to cheer him up like giving him a back rub or suggesting a trip to Dairy Queen for a sweet treat. Coincidentally sweet treats always make me feel better. I could always think of a way to put a positive spin on the situation & alot of times he would brush it off but sometimes he would listen and actually agree to my logical thinking. Yep I'm smart.

I was the one who remembered every birthday & milestone and made sure to commemorate the day somehow. Every father's day I got him a card to celebrate the day with his sons, I made special treats every Valentine's Day, and on Christmas I made sure we had our own private celebration which of course involved me getting him three too many gifts tailored to his every wish. I've always been good at picking out the gift that fits the person's personality and style yet pulls at their heartstrings just enough to show them that I really care about them. He always knew that he could count on me and I know he took comfort in that because I was always the first person he called when something happened in his life big or small.

He never was one to dance when we went out but I was always the first one out on the dancefloor. In our relationship I was always the one who would freely share my feelings but he would always clam up and what fun is that when you can't be open with someone? Just knowing that I was so open and fun with him shows me that I am capable of being that way again with someone special. I always used to scoff at people who say it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all but maybe they're right. I took a chance and fell for someone who at one time was open to the adventure of love and although he later changed his mind I found that I was capable of being good in a relationship. I did everything I could and that's all I needed to do.

I'm also glad that I discovered that maintaining a happy and health relationship with someone is hard work. I miss the companionship but it's nice to be able to focus on my personal growth and making sure that my emotional needs are met. It's definitely important to focus on those things when you are in a relationship but you don't always have time to do that as you have to make yourself available to the needs of someone else and it's easy to get lost in that role because I certainly did. I guess I could also look at things in another light completely and just say, "Girl you really dodged a bullet there" cause I totally did. Oh, dress is by Banana Republic shoes are Antonio Melani.

Style Master

On April 22nd of this year I received what I considered the greatest fashion compliment of my life. I wore the ensemble pictured above to church. I styled this outfit myself so naturally I had to document it & post it on my Facebook page. I received a few comments complimenting my ensemble but one definitely stood out from the others. There was a girl from my high school, let's call her "A" (very Pretty Little Liars of me huh?), who was the queen bee of us all. She was tall, thin, beautiful, popular, had wealthy parents, & I wanted to be her with all my heart & soul. I had the "privilege" of becoming one of her accessory friends which was an acceptable consolation prize at the time as I was the chubby sarcastic girl hangin' in the corner. The accessory friends got invited to hangout whenever she wanted the attention of more than 10 people at once, she was on a 24 hour boyfriend hiatus, or if she was having a party & invited the entire student body.

She had her clique of girls but God help you if you weren't in it because she could be quite the mean girl. I longed to be accepted by her and even when I saw her around town when I came home from college on summer break I would be just as enamored with her. I sent her a very expensive bouquet of flowers once because I had heard she was dealing with some difficult family matters. She never once said thank you but like a fool I continued to show my allegiance to her. She of course married well, had 3 beautiful little children, & maintained her queen status even in adulthood. Although I am older now and found acceptance & success outside of her presence, I still took great care to stand tall when passing her in the hallway at church because I always revert to that nerdy teenage girl every time I see her.

She bestowed upon me the honor of accepting my Facebook friend request which really only meant that I could torture myself by looking at hundreds of pictures featuring her perfect life. She has only commented on two or three of my posts in the two years that we have been Facebook buddies and those were actually comments I had tweeted about the reality show The Bachelor. I can't blame her for that because my comments are rather witty & probably more entertaining than the show itself (or so I'm told by one of my college professors who also enjoys them, yes that is very strange). Then came April 22nd. I received a notification that someone new had commented on my post so I pulled up my little page and I saw a comment from "A". The comment she left read "Seriously you are a style master! I'm totally jealous!" I couldn't believe it. To have someone of her caliber give me a compliment like that made me feel like I could conquer the world....well the fashion world in a small Midwestern town.

Ironically enough, just 3 weeks after the epic comment I found out that she had decided to leave our congregation over a series of petty issues that were originally the petty issues of her closest friends. They had all gone to a new church across town and took pleasure in posting passive aggressive comments every Sunday about wonderful everyone was there and that they were so glad to be a part of an accepting community. A very close friend of mine left our congregation a few months prior but she & her family left quietly & never spoke an ill word about anyone & quite honestly they would have been well in their right to do so given the circumstances. They also knew that it would not have been fair as the issue only concerned a few people and leaving was truly one of the most difficult decisions she has ever made. They found a new church home that is a great fit for their family but that was only after several months of trying out different ones in the area. "A" tried out two churches which both were occupied by the petty friends. She then shared how glad she was to have found a new church home after an entire 2 weeks of searching. She too now shares how much better her new church is along with the others. It was in that moment that I realized how shallow she remains to be. I am glad to have finally accepted this fact after 15 years of wasting my energy trying to impress her but unfortunately it has tainted the compliment.

Lucky for me I know that I am still pretty fashionable even if I have to say so myself which I generally do. Now I am waiting for a truly epic compliment which I now believe should come from the J.Crew goddess herself Jenna Lyons. She is the president & creative director of the company and lives in New York so I'm not exactly sure how I would just happen to bump into her & get such a compliment. Hmmm....pricing flights to New York as we speak & dreaming big.....

Growing Pains

Graduation season is upon us and it always reminds me of my graduation ceremonies. It's so exciting because you are finally done with classes so you feel like you can finally breathe again but it can also be very nerve racking because you're not completely sure of what awaits you out in the big world. You go through so many changes after high school. You lose contact with friends that you thought you would have forever but form intimately close bonds in college with people you just met. Then you leave college and go out into the workforce where you meet even more new people and learn the harsh realities of life like rent, insurance, backstabbers, & glass ceilings. For some reason I thought I would get all of my changing & learning out of the way in my 20's but the truth is I feel more lost now than I ever have.

I've finally come to terms with the fact that my life is nothing like I thought it would be at age 30 but I'm having trouble discovering where I want it to be. Since most of my friends are either married and/or have children I'm having a hard time finding where I fit in. I finally went to that singles group that I was invited to at church. It's a group of 7 career women who are also single. They are very nice and I was pleasantly surprised that they weren't a group of desperate women all crying about their singledom like other groups that I have visited in the past. They are funny, educated, and sincere but they have been a group for quite awhile now. They were very welcoming but being the newcomer is difficult because they are all very close and their lives are very intertwined. They meet twice a month and I've gone twice so far but I still feel awkward. I'm not really sure why I'm surprised by that because I feel uncomfortable in any situation that takes place outside of my room. I have recently discovered that I get a weird feeling in my stomach when I meet new people. You only have one chance to make a first impression & I try so hard to present myself as a chic positive person that I can't even enjoy the interaction. I still struggle being comfortable in my own skin and I'm not exactly sure how to completely surrender that.

Things at work are still going well. I passed my 6 month probationary period and my supervisors tell me I'm doing well. Unfortunately I still don't have any real responsibility but I'm learning a lot and the experience is so valuable to my career. Somedays I get depressed wondering when I'm going to have a real career. For example yesterday I spent the entire day scanning documents and filing while others got to go into meetings making big financial decisions for our organization. On the surface I know my job is important. I gather information that our directors need to make those big important decisions so they rely on me to get things right but I can't help wondering how neat it must feel to go into those meetings with the bigwigs wearing a nice suit and making 6 figures a year. I understand that most of them have several years of experience so I guess it just comes with time. My goal now is to make a good impression with the small stuff in hopes to get a really good recommendation from them when I'm ready to move on and work elsewhere.

Moving is the other thing I've been thinking about. This town was great to grow-up in but as I have evolved I'm finding that it doesn't meet my city girl dreams. Maybe moving away and starting fresh somewhere else would be a good thing for me. Being here only reminds me of failed dreams and desires and there isn't alot of opportunity for advancement. That would be a big step for me. The last time I moved it was to a town much smaller than this and it was easily the worst decision of my adult life. But I can say that I have at least learned from those mistakes so I hope that in moving away will make it easier for me not to look back.

Oh and to make things worse the ex has been in contact with me again. A month ago he promised to come here and take me out for an apology dinner. He was finally going to say to my face all the things that he supposedly wished he had said when we were still together. We were supposed to meet up one weekend in May. Well guess what, here we are the last weekend in May and he has made no plans to meet me. I like a fool actually believed him. I hadn't heard from him in about 3 weeks and then last Friday he texted me to chat as if we were old buddies. He of course didn't acknowledge the promise he broke or pretend to make plans to see me. He at one point did give up some random excuse for not speaking to me for the last few weeks which of course I don't believe and all it did was upset me all over again so I've been moping around for a week thinking about all the pain he caused and realizing that the wounds have not healed. I wanted my apology so I could move on with my life but I'll have to find a way to do it without it.

What hurts the most is that after all he put me through he didn't even think that I was worth a real apology. As you'll remember he texted me an apology 2 months ago but if he was sincere in being honest with me he would have at least called me on the phone. If he really wanted to see me to make things right nothing would have stopped him from coming here. After much self reflection over the past year I now know the only reason I became involved with him in the first place was because I didn't know my worth. I didn't realize that I deserved so much more than he was ever willing to give me and it is now painfully clear that he never will either. As I continue to evolve into whatever woman it is that I'm meant to be I'm finding that the process is just as painful as it was in college. I worried about making friends and making the right choices to invest in my future and I'm still worried about those same exact things now.

Sad stories aside, I have decided to spend my summer doing things outside of my comfort zone. I already have two trips planned to see some college girlfriends of mine. I realized that the last time I saw one of them was easily 7 years ago and that it much too long. As great as Facebook is, it cannot substitute human interaction and seeing them may bring me the joy that I've been searching for. I also hope to go to restaurants I've kept telling myself I want to try but have never gone inside. I want to try new workout methods and read some new books that I've been hearing about. I will continue to go to the singles group and get to know the ladies and hopefully do some networking with a young professionals group that I recently found out about at work. I choose to think positively about the next 3 months and I'm hoping to discover a lot of interesting things about myself. Let's just keep our fingers crossed that I'm actually brave enough to do these things....

The big 3-0

So I've been 30 for a whole 11 days and I must say that so far it's been rather underwhelming. I only have myself to blame for that though. My actual birthday was pretty cool if I do say so myself and I have to because I spent the entire day on my own. I got up at 4am to complete my daily hour long Jillian Michaels workout and get ready for my self-imposed day of relaxation & quiet celebration. I left the house at 7am so I could make the nearly two hour drive to St. Louis where I had a 10am appointment at the Four Seasons Spa & Salon. As you know I originally had wanted to spend a week in Las Vegas for my 30th birthday. The funds I needed to successfully pull that off never magically appeared as I had hoped so I decided to do something a little closer to home. It has always been a dream of mine to stay at a Four Seasons hotel because everyone who's anyone stays there and I of course am someone who appreciates nice things. I wasn't quite ready to shell out the money for a full night's stay so I opted for a day at the spa instead. From the moment I called to schedule my appointment they treated me like American royalty. Even when they called the day before to confirm my appointment the receptionist gushed at how excited they were to have me join them for my birthday.

They suggested I come 30 minutes early to allow for proper check-in. I arrived at exactly 9am not because I was so anxious to get there but because I honestly thought I would get lost trying to find the hotel downtown & I didn't want to be late. I pulled up to a gorgeous modern looking building were a doorman and a bellhop were waiting. A tall gentleman opened my car door and with a smile said "Good morning and welcome to the Four Seasons. What brings you in today?" I told him I had an appointment at the spa and he told me what floor to go to and gave me my valet ticket. Yes, I had my car valeted & everyone must do this at least once in their life. It was so convenient to pull up to the front door hand over my keys and walk into opulence as if I had no cares in the world. I went to the elevators of which there were 3, stepped inside to see a television there, & a voice over the intercom that announces each floor as you reach it. The voice informed my that I had  reached the 7th floor which held the spa & I was greeted by two ladies dressed in all black who were more than prepared for my early arrival.

After I checked-in, one of them showed me to the locker room which contained a row of lockers each with its own electronic lock allowing the user to enter any 4 digit code to lock it. The key of course is remembering the 4 numbers you locked it with even 5 minutes after doing so which I almost completely forgot. She also showed me to the bathrooms, changing rooms, showers, & makeup room which were all fully stocked with any amenity you could ever need. Just past those rooms were the whirlpool, sauna, & two relaxation rooms all open to my use. She handed me a giant terry cloth robe, some slippers, & a plastic bag to put my swimsuit in after use & told me that my masseuse Robyn would meet me in the relaxation room promptly at 10am to take me for my treatment.

I was the only person in the spa so I put on my yellow J. Crew bikini, turned on the jets, & climbed into the whirlpool for 30 minutes of solitude. The jets felt fantastic and I allowed my mind to drift far away from work & all other stressors in my life. I grabbed my US Weekly and went to the relaxation room to wait for Robyn. I poured myself a glass of cucumber water & read the spa menu so I could get an idea of what I wanted to have later for my birthday lunch. As I was flipping through my magazine & reading birthday messages I received on Facebook, two women came in and sat down next to me to wait for their treatments to begin. One of them I had just met in the locker room & she complimented me on my cute bags (one of them my Kate Spade zebra print purse & the other a polk-a-dot bag I had gotten years ago at The Limited that I was using to hold my clothes). We exchanged pleasant conversation for a few moments. They were regulars and told me I was in for a real treat.

After I emerged from the spa with new skin and a hairless face I ordered lunch which consisted of a strawberry lemonade, a turkey sandwich made on toasted wheat bread with avocado, bacon, & a special spicy spread, & homemade potato chips served warm. After spending nearly 5 hours of heaven at the spa I headed to the ritzy shopping center to drop the remainder of my paycheck at J. Crew & Kate Spade. I felt a mini shopping spree was the best way to end the day. I won't disclose exactly how much I spent but my birthday splurge included: a pair of green linen pants, a pair of plum colored cropped pants, a brightly colored & flowered scarf, a bright yellow skirt, a bright yellow embellished tank, a pair of bright yellow suede ballet flats (see a yellow obsessed pattern here?) a new straw purse for summer, a new wallet to go with the new purse, & an IPhone case for the new phone I had yet to receive. I did have a 20% off coupon for Kate Spade so I feel like my spending there was somewhat justified. Pics to come.

I came home to find a balloon bouquet and a cake with Justin Bieber's face all over it from my parents. I never ended up having a birthday dinner with family or friends and I didn't get to go on an amazing trip but I did have that one day of relaxation & reflection. I got to start out this new chapter in my life with new clothes, a new bag, & a new outlook on life. Every time I am asked to do something that causes fear within me, I have begun to ask myself why I am so afraid and decide to simply try it anyway because what's the worst that could really happen? Just another tidbit I learned from Oprah. Oh and yes the ex did text me to wish me a happy birthday and I'm still not sure what to make of that.

Cute outfit Sunday

I rocked this cuteness this morning. The nautical shirt & denim skirt are both J.Crew from a few seasons ago and the shoes are Coach and happen to be my favorite pair.

I also scored a fabulous pair of purple trouser pants at a J.Crew final sale about 3 weeks ago and was finally able to break them out for work. I got a few questioning stares from my co-workers but I think the outfit was a success! It would have been perfect if I had the right color of espadrilles to pair with them.