I purposely showed up to the bowling alley 5 minutes late hoping to make an entrance but I arrived only to find that everyone else was running a few minutes late. As I stood there completely out of my element amongst beer bellies and smokers I saw Darci, her hubby Les, and the Accountant come rushing in apologizing for being late. Apparently Les had made a series of fashion faux pas while getting ready to come so she had to put him in some decent clothing last minute and the Accountant simply got lost. Can I just refer to him as TA from now on? Good cause I was going to anyways. TA came up to me to say hello and I greeted him with a friendly hello and turned around to get my bowling shoes. I was later told that he tried to give me a hug along with his hello but I completely missed that and was afraid I offended him. Crap. This evening was not starting off as planned. Kimber and her hubby Spoons showed up a few minutes later and we got two lanes to play boys against girls. We were put in order of couples so TA and I bowled at the same time and it was so awkward. The other two couples are both young marrieds who are still very much in the honeymoon phase so they would kiss and cuddle eachother between frames while TA and I would give eachother uncomfortable glances. I tried to have some casual conversation with him but I could tell that he was pretty uncomfortable talking to me around them since they were kind of making fun of him. He caught me by myself when I went to pay my share of the second round of games and asked if he could buy me a drink. I was pleasantly surprised but declined his offer since I knew we were going to the restaurant later and I didn't want him to have to pay for a beverage that I probably wouldn't have finished. He didn't say much to me in between frames but he beat me by at least 30 points in both games that we played. I'd like to note that I actually broke 100 in the second game which is amazing since I'm a terrible bowler.
We took our awkward party down the street to Buffalo Wild Wings because they were having a $.60 wing special that night and you can't beat that deal. We sat out on the patio at my blessing because I deemed the weather not too hot to sit outside. I refuse to stay outside in the heat if I'm just going to sit there and sweat especially if I'm trying to attract someone. The waitress came around to take our drink orders and asked if TA and I were going to be on the same ticket. I wanted to make a cute joke about how cool it was that she thought we were a couple but he looked a little shy about it so I just told her we were on separate tickets. I thought I would get a chance to talk to him over dinner but he sat right next to me the entire night and barely said a word to me but he did participate in the group conversations somewhat. We were the only two at the table to request blue cheese dipping sauce for our wings which I thought that was a sign of compatibility but I guess it was not. I spent most of the night talking to Darci who took pity on me since TA was kind of ignoring me. At one point she made a joke about TA and I hooking up later that night which I nervously laughed at and told her it was a horrible thing to say because he probably didn't like that but I looked over at him and he didn't seem opposed to it. That was the funny thing, he actually seemed like a cool guy when he wasn't preoccupied with what they were saying. Occasionally he had some pretty funny comebacks at them when they would make a joke about him. At the barbecue I found that he stays up to date with top 40 music and knows who all the current pop starlets are and even humored me by watching a YouTube video on Darci's phone of Miley twerking in a bear costume. I realize that since he's a guy and she was popping her booty he didn't mind watching it but I thought it was funny nonetheless.
10:30pm rolled around and we all had to work in the morning so we ended the night with hugs all around because after all they are huggers. I went to hug TA goodbye and he apologized for not talking and said that he was embarrassed to talk to me since they were giving him such a hard time. I told him it was ok and that he was a good sport for agreeing to hangout like this in such an awkward situation. I said goodbye to everyone else and started to walk towards my car at the same time that TA was leaving. Great, this was going to be awkward right down to the very last second. At least I had a fun night but at the same time I had a pretty good feeling that I would never see him again. He caught up with me and apologized again for all the awkwardness. He seemed to be kinda pissed at the group for teasing him and that it messed up his chance to get to know me. He even pointed out the fact that they were watching us from across the parking lot. He asked if he could have my number and said that he would text me. I couldn't believe it. A minute ago I thought this had ended in disaster and now he wants my number? We exchanged numbers and continued walking. I tried to make small talk to fill the silence as we reached our cars and felt like I was getting a good vibe from him. He was smiling and seemed to be engaged in our conversation. I didn't want to keep him if he was feeling uncomfortable so I told him I would stop badgering him to which he smiled and replied "No, please keep badgering me!" I giggled and said that I would talk to him soon and drove home. I felt like a giddy school girl for the rest of the night and could barely sleep. I gave a cute guy my number and he said he would text me. Things were looking up!
Over two weeks passed and TA never contacted me. I'm talking not a text, phone call, or even a smoke signal. Every guy advice book I've ever read or dating guru I've ever heard on the radio always says that a guy will contact you pretty soon after meeting you if he's interested. I believe within 3 days is the agreed upon waiting period but it had been way longer than that. Darci asked me if he ever texted me and was shocked to find that he never did. "That's like a slap in the face!" she said and I hadn't thought of it that way because I was still foolishly hopeful that he would contact me but she was right. She said that she would text Kimber to find out what was going on but I couldn't wait because I wanted to know what happened to change his mind about me. Did my hair fall flat? Did my deodorant stop working? Was my fashion sense too out there for him? (That last one can't be true because I wore very basic colors both times I met him in an effort not to scare him away) I felt I needed to seize the opportunity and YOLO (You Only Live Once) this situation and let him know that I was interested in case he thought that I wasn't. I mean he gave me his number too so the phone works both ways right? I spent about an hour thinking of what to say that would be equal parts casual and flirty so I came up with "Hey this is Darci's friend Stephanie and I just wanted to say that it was nice meeting you and and I wish I would have gotten the chance to talk to you more because you seem like a really nice guy!" I was pleased with my message and hit send. A few hours later he responded "It was nice meeting you too. Sorry I never contacted you but I've been busy trying to figure things out at work." Did you hear the slap across my face? If not perhaps you felt the ricochet of it as you read this. This is almost identical to the text that I received from my ex that preceded a month of not speaking to me followed by a breakup via email. I'm not naive in the dating game so I know when I'm getting the brush off and that response was He's Just Not That Into You 101. I haven't heard from him since.
I don't usually get rejected before I'm even asked on a 1st date but at least now I have something new to focus on when I'm feeling masochistic. What I don't understand is why he even asked for my number in the first place. He could have walked away and never saw or spoke to me ever again and I would have been fine with that but he actually approached me and asked for it. Oh well, no summer fling this year. I guess it's just another lesson learned in the black hole of single life. Lesson #87: If a guy asks you for your number don't assume that he'll actually use it. I suppose if I didn't continue to put myself out there in these awkward situations I would have nothing to blog about and I don't want to deny anyone the humor that they find in my misery. So here's hoping that over Labor Day weekend Darci sets me up with a guy that asks me to pay for his meal on the first date.
Let me state for the record that this is the very reason I don't ever talk to anyone about my dating/love life. Most of my married friends have been with their spouses since college days and got married shortly after graduation so they've never experienced years of dating rejection. They have no idea how embarrassing it is for me to listen to a story about how their husbands of 8 years surprised them with an overnight trip to the city for their anniversaries and then ask me to share tales of my exciting single life when the only story I have to share is that the night before I went out on a date with a balding 20 something who told me that I had giant teeth. They say married life is boring but a little stability and commitment sounds like fun to me. Going forward I'm not going to tell anyone in real life who I'm dating or am interested in until I'm engaged. Wait, I take that back because there's still a chance I'll get stood up at the alter and have to eat an entire wedding cake by myself (which actually sounds like a wonderful dream). I won't say anything to anyone until I'm married then I'll tweet about it and ask for privacy like the celebrities do.
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