As I was reading the church bulletin during service last week in an effort to stay awake during a long winded sermon, I came across a blurb about a young girl's conference that our church would be hosting this summer. The premise of the conference is for girls to recognize their inner beauty and strength and to learn how to prepare themselves for the difficulties of teen life. All women including mothers, grandmothers, sisters, aunts, friends, and neighbors are encouraged to invite any girl ages 12 to 21 that they think could benefit from the content that will be presented. I immediately connected with this event because I grew up always feeling like I would never truly fit in just being myself and I could have truly benefited from something like this. I have also been looking for an opportunity to volunteer my time to something this summer so I thought this would be a great opportunity. I went to the volunteer informational meeting the following Tuesday after work and met a group of really great women. They were friendly, charismatic, and passionate about enriching the lives of young girls. I began to pat myself on the back for taking the initiative to join this cause, then the meeting began and I quickly discovered that I couldn't have been more out of place.
The woman who was coordinating the conference began to share a little bit about herself and how she became involved with this group. We then went around the room and everyone introduced themselves and explained what brought them to the group. One by one each woman shared how many children she had and her fears for the things in the media influencing her teenage or soon to be teenage daughters. The woman coordinating the event had 3 daughters ages 14-21, the next woman had a son and daughter ages 6 & 10, the woman sitting next to her had 5 children 4 daughters and 1 son ages 5-18, the next woman actually had 3 sons and I'm sitting there thinking what did I just walk into? I did not realize how focused this was on parents trying to connect with their children so I started to think that maybe I was not the ideal volunteer for this event. I later found that they were even having special sessions during the conference just for the mothers.
As they continued around the room to each woman and her litter of children, I quickly began to plan my escape. Was there a way I could duck out of this meeting completely unnoticed before I had to admit in front of all God's children that I have none of my own? Before I could come up with a decent escape route it was my turn to introduce myself. I told everyone my name and why I wanted to be a part of the event then the inevitable question came blaring from the other side of the room. "Do you have any kids?" I had to confess that I had no children and without skipping a beat the coordinator smiled said "Well that's alright because we need all types of people here." All the other women quickly nodded their heads in agreement and support of the childless girl in their midst. I'm still not really sure what she meant by her statement. Did they need single people? African-American people? Vain people? Wildly uncomfortable people? Lucky for them I'm all 4 wrapped up in one inadequate volunteer. As the meeting went on my ovary hung its head in shame.
When I got home that night I decided to scroll through the news feed on my Facebook page because I had not yet adequately destroyed my self-confidence for the day. I came across a photo posted on the page of a girl I knew in high school. I think it's safe to say that we were friends at the time but we haven't kept in touch. She moved to Tennessee for college, met the man of her dreams, and stayed there. They've been married for 7 years and had their 1st child a year ago. I heard through the grapevine that they were buying a new house because these are the things that married people talk to me about as if I can somehow relate. Her parents went there to help her move in and posted a picture of her new house. Actually the correct term for what was pictured is a mini mansion. I'm talking it looked like the Kardashian's starter home. It had an impeccably manicured lawn, vaulted ceilings, and a walk-in closet worthy of all my envy. I am 6 months older than she is and the only thing I own is 6 years of student loans. She lives the life of a respectable adult, the kind of life I actually imagined that I would have by now but thanks to layoffs, heartbreak, and reality I am more of a fabulous nomad still trying to figure it all out. It was in that moment that I remembered how much I suck.
Please also notice those cute ribbon sandals that the model is sporting. I called to inquire about the price only to find out that they had completely sold out online. I never even saw them featured (still not sure how this is possible) so obviously theses sandals were so hot they couldn't even keep them in stock. They quickly went from cute to must have. They did a store search and found them for me in one of their New York stores so I will be testing these out when little brown shorts (my UPS guy) drops them off at my front door next week. I got them 25% off which isn't great but it may seem totally worth it when I slide my feet into them.
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