So Rob Kardashian looks like this now and I think we need to discuss it. Like most of America I have a love hate relationship with the Kardashian family. I love watching the various versions of their reality shows and I hate myself for it. Khloe is my favorite because she's open about how often her weight fluctuates (which sadly I can relate to) and she's the only one in that family that keeps it real....well as real as you can be when you make millions of dollars because your sister made a sex tape thus making your family fascinating. I also like Kourtney and Rob because they are the only two in the family to have actually graduated from college. They still don't do anything of substance now but they did at least go to college so I respect that. Since graduating college Rob has really struggled with finding his place in the family and life in general. His father was a big time lawyer and a successful business man so he set the bar pretty high for his only son. His sisters have become a brand themselves peddling clothes, fragrances, and tell all books thanks in a large part to Kim's popularity. Rob often laments about how successful his sisters are and how difficult it is for him to carve out his own success apart from them.
He seemed a little more hopeful when he was dating that Cheetah girl and was doing an internship. After he broke up with the cheetah and moved out of the apartment they shared together he moved in with Khloe and her hubby which is where I think it all started to go downhill for him. I must say that I have no idea why he lives with his sister because that family is worth an obscene amount of money and I'm sure a small part of it could be used to by the lone male Kardashian a decent condo. Anyway, he began making regular Taco Bell runs with everyone's favorite douche bag and father to Kourtney's children Scott Disick and coming home to demolish all the treats in the pantry that were put there for Lamar's consumption. I remember a few episodes when he complained about feeling out of shape but it didn't really seem to phase him because the video games he spent all his days playing didn't pass judgement and let's face it no one holds him accountable for anything besides Khloe.
One day he woke up from what was likely his 3rd nap of the day and declared that he had discovered his passion for socks. What does that even mean? He decided that he wanted to start a line of designer socks as if this would somehow change the world. He came up with a few designs and had Khole's BFF Malika, who had always had a crush on Rob, model them while wearing nothing else. Nothing came of those promotional photos but I believe they did sleep together a few times just for the fun of it. I take it that he went back to the drawing board because several months after that episode aired, Neiman Marcus signed on to sell his line of socks which he now called Arthur George and sold for $30 a pair. Initially there was quite a buzz about this and he even did several in-store appearances (many accompanied by his sisters to ensure a good turnout) to promote his business venture. I've seen the socks and as a lover of accessories I must say that the designs aren't anything new or particularly appealing but if you put a pseudo-celebrity's name on them they don't have to be.
During all of his marginal success a rumor started that he was dating the British & brash pop starlet Rita Ora. Neither party would confirm this but several weeks later Rob began tweeting a series of nasty things about Miss Ora leading us to believe that she burned him pretty bad. He started showing up everywhere in t-shirts and sweatpants looking like a lost puppy. The E! network recently aired a Kardashian special where they sat down with Ryan Secrest, who is largely responsible for all their success, to give an intimate and honest interview about the highs and lows of success. Rob's weight was brought up of course because how could you not mention that? He said that he didn't realize how out of control things had gotten until he looked down and found that his penis looked small because of the gut that was now hovering over it. He has now started a weight loss journey and his penis is now appearing larger and larger everyday. For all of you marrieds who are envious of us single girls because you believe we're out there dating all these handsome eligible bachelor's please be reminded that Rob is one of them and then say a prayer for us.
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