Plan B

So I started out my week attending a meeting which was scheduled with a work purpose but ended up being a brainstorming session for my co-worker's Match.com user name. I wish I was joking, but the chair of the meeting actually indulged her for about 2 minutes while everyone (I would have suggested flexible&shedding78) gave their idea of a user name that would garner the attention of respectable men. Wonderful. As if she needs anymore attention. This co-worker who in previous posts I have referred to as The Sleeve, is now down about 65 pounds and talks about it in some capacity everyday even though it's physically evident to everyone. The reason she had this surgery in the first place was to increase her chances of fertility. She is in her mid 30's with no spouse or children and her biological clock is getting unbearably loud so now she is beginning to put her plan B into place.

Plan B is the plan that everyone makes so they will have something to fall back on if their dreams don't come true. We start this contingency plan in infancy. We cry our eyes out knowing that our caregiver will come to our rescue with a bottle or comfortable napping arrangements. We stop this when our caregiver insists that we feed and clothes ourselves as we grow older and make a general outline for how we want our life to go. When the reality of life hits and life isn't as amazing at 22 like we thought, that is when we create a more solid plan B. For a lot of women this involves going for a Master's or PhD in an effort to make more money so the cash can keep you warm at night when a husband or children cannot. But then of course there's the overachieving wives who are in an executive position in their career and work on their Master's while 6 months pregnant with their 2nd child making all of us singles look bad.

I myself don't really have a plan B because I never really had a solid plan A. As a child I just thought that things happen naturally. You graduate high school, go to college and major in something that interests you, while in college or graduate school you meet a guy that makes all high school crushes pale in comparison, then you marry him and have 2.5 kids while working your way up the corporate ladder. I honestly believed this is how things would happen for me but then the worst happened. I came home from college without a ring or a man. In my culture (the culture of middle class Christians residing in a Midwestern town of roughly 150,000 people) if you are a woman and aren't married by 25 you are considered a spinster. I believe they used to burn you at the stake but they got too many complaints about the smell of burning flesh coming from the town square. I've been getting the pity stares for years now but instead of creating a real plan B that I could spout off in response to the question "Why don't you lower your standards and date my creepy cousin so we can double date?" I just began dressing better in an effort to further confuse people as to the reason for my current singledom. I also laugh at their small-mindedness alot.

The Sleeve wants a baby more than anything so much so that I thought she was seriously considering adoption in the near future. Apparently she is now planning to go the more traditional route and meet a mate before starting a family. As with most everything she says and does, I am finding this process most entertaining. I am sympathetic with her plight. She's a kind, smart, generous woman that has dated some real losers and deserves to meet a nice man that will treat her well. Her plan is pretty straightforward. Step one, lose 100 pounds. Step two, meet a man on Match.com. Step three, pray he makes enough money so I can quit my job after the wedding but 3 years before having kids so I can be super prepared/trophy wife. Step four, have a baby boy and name it Kayden, Ayden, or Jayden. Step five, sell my house and buy a house next door to my parents so my mother can meddle properly. Step six, have a baby girl and name it Gracie, Sophie, or AshLee. Step seven, don't die alone. I'm not really sure how this is going to pan out but I can guarantee she will fill me in on every single detail.

My obsession this week surrounds this Eliza J fit and flare dress I found at Nordstroms. Although it's still several weeks away, I am already on the hunt for my Easter dress. For Christian folk Easter is like the Oscars so people generally come to church on Easter Sunday in their best. I would say that I dress for Jesus but He knows that I would be lying and may set me ablaze otherwise so I will admit that on Easter I dress in hopes of snatching a compliment away from all those freakin' kids in adorable suits and dresses with matching hats. Anyways, I think this may be the winner for this year's Easter dress but I'm still keeping my options open. I have a pair of patent leather peep-toe heels that I would pair with it to give me legs for days but more importantly a bright pink belt, preferably with a bow, is a must so I have to find that first. Where can I find that, Lily Pulitzer maybe? She's always good for that.