If you ever want to be reminded of why you broke up with someone simply talk to them for 5 minutes and the reasons become painfully familiar. For some reason I spent most of the day thinking about my dreaded ex in a positive light. Ok, full disclosure the reason I've been thinking fondly of him is because he texted me out of the blue on Saturday to give me his new cell phone number. The nostalgic part of me believed that he did this because he still cares about me and wants to stay in touch with me. Thinking this way actually made me smile. The realistic part of me knows that he did it because he wants to stay in touch with me in case he wants something from me.
After getting this magical text, I decided to ask him a work related question. I had to get some information about some free resources for the public to use in a town he used to live in as we have potential applicants there. I thought this would be the gateway to a real meaningful conversation but alas it was not. I asked him the question and he gave me two responses one of them a possible good lead and the other was so completely ridiculous I honestly thought he was joking. Unfortuantely he was not. He truly believed he was being helpful. He went on to offer another vague suggestion and I was more than ready to end our brief electronic reunion. I said ok to his first response but I didn't even acknowledge his second one.
How could I have forgotten that he usually is not helpful at all? I can always count on him to do the bare minimum. It reminded me of a time when I asked him a health realted question that I thought he would know the answer to since he was so obessed with physical fitness. All he did was put it into an online search engine and told me what it said. Wow, like I didn't think of doing that myself. He is the self-proclaimed master of everything but he gets 5% of his knowledge from life experience and 95% of his information from google. This means that he is wrong 95% of the time. The other 5% I think ends up being a lucky guess or information from reliable gossip contacts.
Not to fret my friends I am now seeing him clearly and celebrating the fact that I no longer speak to him on a regular basis. The problem is, there is still a chance that I will fall into bad place down the road even briefly when I will again feel like maybe we could work something out. I will agree to go to dinner with him and then before we have even finished our appetizers I will be reminded of why we are not meant to be and then have to decide if I have the strength to put down some money and leave early or stay and end up doing something I'll regret just so I won't be lonely for the night. This is what I like to call the ex-factor....well myself and Lauyrn Hill. He'll want to be with me for the night but be frightened in the morning because it will feel too much like committment but then a few days later he may want a listening ear to vent his frustrations to so he'll call his faithful standby.....me. At least I have my freedom and the sense to know that I will likely always be much smarter than him. Don't judge me every small victory counts!
Monday, December 12, 2011
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Pampered Schmuck
Last night I found myself participating in a gathering that I had no business attending. I was invited to a Pampered Chef party and actually went. Anyone who knows me well knows that I don't have one domestic bone in my body. I originally tried to think of an excuse I could give to get out of going to this party but it was being hosted by a friend who is trying to start a new life with her son and I wanted to support her moving on so I went.
I arrived and went into the kitchen for the cooking demonstration when I noticed that everyone but me had their shoes off. I of course was wearing a fierce pair of purple patent leather boots that matched the purplish sweater that I had on so the plan was to look cute. Any social gathering calls for a fab outfit because let's face it I don't get invited out anywhere very often these days. I took solace in the fact that my friend didn't require me to remove my boots and I immediately sat down when offered a seat because the pointy toe on those boots were killing me.
She started making a fizzy punch beverage by slicing some limes with a fancy blade contraption and one of the other guests began talking about all the Pampered Chef items she already owned. Within 20 minutes of her gabbing during the cooking demonstration we all discovered that she was originally from Chicago and pronounces certain words differently, was in a long-term relationship with her boyfriend who is 4 years younger than her and who she has no intentions of marrying or having children with him because she's a 20th century girl whatever that means. She has also been to 8 parties in the last year so she was a Pampered Chef expert in her own right and probably helped raise my friend's sales by 30%.
Once she started making some little toasted sandwiches, another guest pipped up saying how wonderful she thought a cookie scooper would be when making hundreds of Christmas cookies with her kids. Another guest was gushing about how easily she could measure things with some fancy measuring cup that she had on display. Then another guest added how easily she could ice a cake with their fancy spatula. "Who are these people?" I thought to myself. "And what is a spatula?" They had boyfriends and spouses and children to feed. They actually cook dinner for their families. The only utensils I own are a Pampered Chef ice cream scooper (cause it really it the best and because I eat sorbet sometimes) and 10-20 take out menus because I would starve if I didn't order my food from someone who has already cooked it for me.
They all whipped out their checkbooks at the end of the demonstration and ordered up a storm. I looked through the catalogue twice and all I wanted to buy where a set of polk-a-dot martini glasses simply for the fact that they looked cute and were on sale for less than $30. When did they learn all of this stuff? Aren't I supposed to have the desire to make my own chicken marsala? (Is that a real dish?)My mom attempted to teach me how to cook when I was younger but it was a disaster so she just made loading and emptying the dishwasher my job and prayed that I would someday meet a man without a stomach so my inadequacies would not be exposed.
I then popped a chocolate raspberry tart in my mouth that she made for dessert and added can't cook to the never ending list of reasons why I'm still single that I keep in my head. I'm the Pampered Schmuck. I've found that people ask me that question alot when they see me lately so I like to be prepared with something partially witty yet painfully truthful. "Why haven't you met someone yet?" Because all the available men are taking a cooking class that I cannot pass. "Why hasn't some great guy snatched you up yet?" Because I may kill him by serving him undercooked meat since I was too cheap to buy the meat thermometer. Lucky for me I still manage to survive on Panera and McDonald's alone.
I arrived and went into the kitchen for the cooking demonstration when I noticed that everyone but me had their shoes off. I of course was wearing a fierce pair of purple patent leather boots that matched the purplish sweater that I had on so the plan was to look cute. Any social gathering calls for a fab outfit because let's face it I don't get invited out anywhere very often these days. I took solace in the fact that my friend didn't require me to remove my boots and I immediately sat down when offered a seat because the pointy toe on those boots were killing me.
She started making a fizzy punch beverage by slicing some limes with a fancy blade contraption and one of the other guests began talking about all the Pampered Chef items she already owned. Within 20 minutes of her gabbing during the cooking demonstration we all discovered that she was originally from Chicago and pronounces certain words differently, was in a long-term relationship with her boyfriend who is 4 years younger than her and who she has no intentions of marrying or having children with him because she's a 20th century girl whatever that means. She has also been to 8 parties in the last year so she was a Pampered Chef expert in her own right and probably helped raise my friend's sales by 30%.
Once she started making some little toasted sandwiches, another guest pipped up saying how wonderful she thought a cookie scooper would be when making hundreds of Christmas cookies with her kids. Another guest was gushing about how easily she could measure things with some fancy measuring cup that she had on display. Then another guest added how easily she could ice a cake with their fancy spatula. "Who are these people?" I thought to myself. "And what is a spatula?" They had boyfriends and spouses and children to feed. They actually cook dinner for their families. The only utensils I own are a Pampered Chef ice cream scooper (cause it really it the best and because I eat sorbet sometimes) and 10-20 take out menus because I would starve if I didn't order my food from someone who has already cooked it for me.
They all whipped out their checkbooks at the end of the demonstration and ordered up a storm. I looked through the catalogue twice and all I wanted to buy where a set of polk-a-dot martini glasses simply for the fact that they looked cute and were on sale for less than $30. When did they learn all of this stuff? Aren't I supposed to have the desire to make my own chicken marsala? (Is that a real dish?)My mom attempted to teach me how to cook when I was younger but it was a disaster so she just made loading and emptying the dishwasher my job and prayed that I would someday meet a man without a stomach so my inadequacies would not be exposed.
I then popped a chocolate raspberry tart in my mouth that she made for dessert and added can't cook to the never ending list of reasons why I'm still single that I keep in my head. I'm the Pampered Schmuck. I've found that people ask me that question alot when they see me lately so I like to be prepared with something partially witty yet painfully truthful. "Why haven't you met someone yet?" Because all the available men are taking a cooking class that I cannot pass. "Why hasn't some great guy snatched you up yet?" Because I may kill him by serving him undercooked meat since I was too cheap to buy the meat thermometer. Lucky for me I still manage to survive on Panera and McDonald's alone.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Bad Day
Well it's finally happened. Today I had my first bad day at work on my new job. Up until now I have certainly had my fair share of days when I felt incredibly overwhelmed with all of the new things I have had to learn but it was just a byproduct of training. Today I began my 8th week as an HR representative and I felt like a total failure. Everything that could go wrong totally did.
I came in this morning and before I could even set my purse down Donna one of my co-workers came in all flustered wondering who had entered information into the system for something she usually handles herself. It was me so I gave her the folder with the information in it. I of course forgot to copy the papers we got before sending the originals to the higher ups for review which is kind of a big deal since we don't actually get that paperwork back from them. She was able to get it back from our director before she took it into her meeting so the crisis was averted.
Donna came back into my office to have me make some changes to the information I entered onto the agenda for the directors' meeting. I made the changes and she asked me to send the corrected version out to all of the directors for the meeting that would be taking place in 10 minutes. I sent a friendly little email letting them know that I was sending a corrected copy. I immediately got an email back from our chief financial officer saying that the corrected copy was not attached. Of course I had been in such a rush to send it out that I actually forgot to attach the dang thing to the email. I had to send another message apologizing for my first message which was missing the document and then attached it. This is a big deal because our chief financial officer is our director's boss and she likes everything to be done precise and correct meaning no errors whatsoever. I have heard from every single person in our department to drop everything when she calls or emails you because whatever she needs is always a priority. I was able to get the email with the corrected document out to everyone 5 minutes before the meeting so crisis second averted.
I put away my lean cuisine pizza in the freezer for lunch and came back to my desk to put up my Christmas wreath which I had been very excited about all weekend because it was fun and I like decorating my office. I sat down to check my emails and two more of my co-workers came in to ask me if I made a copy of something else I had entered into the system. I hadn't but to be honest no one ever told me that I was supposed to copy those before entering them in. After some investigating they realized that this is something that Donna usually does before giving them to me so I actually would not have known to do it. The reason they weren't copied was because they came through the week that Donna was gone. This is a big deal because that copy goes to payroll and without it someone won't get paid. There were only two of them so they were able to make the copies and send them to payroll right away. Third crisis averted.
After the director's meeting my supervisor came into my office to ask me to change the font on certain areas on the agenda were the physicians' names were not wrapped around in the spreadsheet. I noticed it was that way for weeks but the person who trained me to do this never fixed it and no one ever said that they didn't like the way it looked so I left it that way. Of course today it was noticed and now they think that I was careless and didn't proof the agenda before I sent it out. She acted like it wasn't a big deal but I imagine it was our chief financial officer who pointed it out and asked that it be changed so actually it is important. I went in and fixed it to make sure it looks perfect for next week though so crisis four averted. All of this happened within the first hour of my day by the way.
Later this afternoon one of my co-workers was checking my work to make sure everything was correct. She had about 5 changes to make on some forms I completed but went on to say that it wasn't completely my fault because the paperwork I used to complete the forms was filled out incorrectly by the department. That's all fine and dandy but being handed something you worked on with red marks all over it never feels good.
I usually stay at least 15 minutes late to finish up things in preparation for the next day but I could not get out of there fast enough today. I drove home and decided to write about my sucky day as a way to vent and promised myself not to revisit at all for the rest of the evening. I will likely think about it later tonight but tomorrow is a new day and I will leave all these negative thoughts behind and vow to do better because that's really all I can do. Did I mention that I dialed the number for my co-worker Steve when I really meant to call my co-worker Lisa? I got their extensions mixed up because they are similar. Luckily he laughed about it and Lisa wasn't even at her desk.
The funny thing is last Friday I was just told by my supervisor and other co-workers how well they thought I was doing. In fact, they were impressed at how well I was taking initiative to do things and I was doing them much better than expected and then today happens. It is discouraging to say the least. I am trying so hard and it is imperative that I do well here because my whole career just may literally depend on it. I'm probably being too hard on myself but if I'm not I'm afraid that I will slip up and do something wrong....oh wait, that happened anyways. One thing I can promise you is that I will never forget to make a copy ever again in my life!
I came in this morning and before I could even set my purse down Donna one of my co-workers came in all flustered wondering who had entered information into the system for something she usually handles herself. It was me so I gave her the folder with the information in it. I of course forgot to copy the papers we got before sending the originals to the higher ups for review which is kind of a big deal since we don't actually get that paperwork back from them. She was able to get it back from our director before she took it into her meeting so the crisis was averted.
Donna came back into my office to have me make some changes to the information I entered onto the agenda for the directors' meeting. I made the changes and she asked me to send the corrected version out to all of the directors for the meeting that would be taking place in 10 minutes. I sent a friendly little email letting them know that I was sending a corrected copy. I immediately got an email back from our chief financial officer saying that the corrected copy was not attached. Of course I had been in such a rush to send it out that I actually forgot to attach the dang thing to the email. I had to send another message apologizing for my first message which was missing the document and then attached it. This is a big deal because our chief financial officer is our director's boss and she likes everything to be done precise and correct meaning no errors whatsoever. I have heard from every single person in our department to drop everything when she calls or emails you because whatever she needs is always a priority. I was able to get the email with the corrected document out to everyone 5 minutes before the meeting so crisis second averted.
I put away my lean cuisine pizza in the freezer for lunch and came back to my desk to put up my Christmas wreath which I had been very excited about all weekend because it was fun and I like decorating my office. I sat down to check my emails and two more of my co-workers came in to ask me if I made a copy of something else I had entered into the system. I hadn't but to be honest no one ever told me that I was supposed to copy those before entering them in. After some investigating they realized that this is something that Donna usually does before giving them to me so I actually would not have known to do it. The reason they weren't copied was because they came through the week that Donna was gone. This is a big deal because that copy goes to payroll and without it someone won't get paid. There were only two of them so they were able to make the copies and send them to payroll right away. Third crisis averted.
After the director's meeting my supervisor came into my office to ask me to change the font on certain areas on the agenda were the physicians' names were not wrapped around in the spreadsheet. I noticed it was that way for weeks but the person who trained me to do this never fixed it and no one ever said that they didn't like the way it looked so I left it that way. Of course today it was noticed and now they think that I was careless and didn't proof the agenda before I sent it out. She acted like it wasn't a big deal but I imagine it was our chief financial officer who pointed it out and asked that it be changed so actually it is important. I went in and fixed it to make sure it looks perfect for next week though so crisis four averted. All of this happened within the first hour of my day by the way.
Later this afternoon one of my co-workers was checking my work to make sure everything was correct. She had about 5 changes to make on some forms I completed but went on to say that it wasn't completely my fault because the paperwork I used to complete the forms was filled out incorrectly by the department. That's all fine and dandy but being handed something you worked on with red marks all over it never feels good.
I usually stay at least 15 minutes late to finish up things in preparation for the next day but I could not get out of there fast enough today. I drove home and decided to write about my sucky day as a way to vent and promised myself not to revisit at all for the rest of the evening. I will likely think about it later tonight but tomorrow is a new day and I will leave all these negative thoughts behind and vow to do better because that's really all I can do. Did I mention that I dialed the number for my co-worker Steve when I really meant to call my co-worker Lisa? I got their extensions mixed up because they are similar. Luckily he laughed about it and Lisa wasn't even at her desk.
The funny thing is last Friday I was just told by my supervisor and other co-workers how well they thought I was doing. In fact, they were impressed at how well I was taking initiative to do things and I was doing them much better than expected and then today happens. It is discouraging to say the least. I am trying so hard and it is imperative that I do well here because my whole career just may literally depend on it. I'm probably being too hard on myself but if I'm not I'm afraid that I will slip up and do something wrong....oh wait, that happened anyways. One thing I can promise you is that I will never forget to make a copy ever again in my life!
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