Christmas for the single gal can be almost as difficult as Valentine's Day. On a daily basis my TV is filled with jewelry store commercials reminding me of the ring or diamonds I won't be getting, Hallmark movie plots where the hardworking single gal/single mom gets the gorgeous doctor/toy maker/Santa impersonator in the end, and clothing ads for sparkly dresses meant for New Year's Eve when the midnight kiss I've always dreamed of is planted on another lucky girl. It seems to get harder to face as I've gotten older. I used to be hopeful that one year my Christmas experience would be different and I would have someone special to share it with. For two years I had someone to buy gifts for and I was excited and went overboard. The 1st year he didn't get me anything besides a thank you for my generosity then the second year he got me a blender and a lotion set from The Body Shop whose scent he thought I would like. I actually did want a blender so I could make smoothies so I can't claim that he was clueless because he listened to me. I got him cashmere lined leather gloves, a gift set of Justin Timberlake's new cologne (which make him uncharacteristically excited), and some Nike workout gear. I had nailed it. I got him everything he loved but never knew he wanted. I am known for my thoughtful and impeccable gift giving skills and I am sure he expected nothing less. It was fun at the time, but now the sting of knowing that he never truly cared about me ruins those memories....that and knowing that he probably still wears those gloves and claims to forget who gave them to him.
It is very easy to sink into a deep depression as I look around and see all the young happy families excited and preparing for Christmas as I struggle to put up my Charlie Brown artifical tree by myself but then I was reminded that there are plenty of people who aren't in a happy family or who don't expect to get anything for Christmas. Last year my mother invited a woman into her home for Christmas named Marie. She is a developmentally disabled adult but is able to work and live on her own. She is a member of our church and the friends that she would usually spend the holiday with were out of town and my mother knew that she would be alone otherwise. After service that Christmas morning, we invited her to have brunch with us at Ihop which was the only restaurant open. They were short staffed so it took awhile for us to get our food but it didn't matter because we were in good company. We had great conversation over brunch then we invited her back to my parents' home to open gifts and watch a few Christmas shows. After the gifts had been opened, we took her to the movie theatre to see the new Muppet's movie as it is our tradition to go to the movies after opening gifts and we had a great time enjoying the movie over soda and popcorn. When we dropped her off at her apartment I wondered what her day would have been like had we not invited her to spend Christmas with us. I doubt that she was worried about getting an expensive gift from a cute guy or would even complain because her favorite pie wasn't served during Christmas dinner. She was just happy that someone included her in their holiday celebration.
After being convicted over my feelings of sadness, I decided to spend all of my energy pouting into giving back to my community. I signed up to buy gifts for the special needs adults at my church. They all live in various group homes in town but one of our faitful church members goes out every Sunday morning to pick them up and bring them to church. As I looked through the cards of items they were requesting I found that they were all things that they needed and not just frivolous items they wanted. I also saw that the Hope School was collecting gifts for their children. This school is for disabled children that offers educational and residential services. Some families just leave their kids there and I'm sure they wouldn't receive any gifts otherwise. I took a couple of cards and was humbled by the fact that they were asking for such simple things. One wanted a coat, the other wanted a football, and another a Kidz Bop CD. When I was their age I'm pretty sure I asked for an entire Barbie village including a car, a mansion, and 3 or 4 different Barbies. I felt good getting those gifts but then I went to work and found that there were 3 different charities that out department would be donating things too. For a second, I selfishly thought to myself "Geez how charitable do I need to be" but I knew that I could afford to give more so I signed up to bring items for those charities as well. Much like the Grinch, I think my heart grew 3 times that day and I appreciate all the little things so much more. I wasn't present when the individuals received the gifts but I have an overwhelming sense of peace that they were very appreciated.
Not surprisingly, in the midst of all my shopping for others in need, I didn't have time to feel sorry for myself. Christmas day has come and gone yet again without a man but I survived it and got some generously loaded gift cards to some of my favorite restaurants so I really can't complain. Besides, anything that I truly wanted I gifted myself whenever a 40% off sale popped up in my inbox. The first picture above is of me in a J. Crew tartan mini skirt which does have matching shoes that were too expensive for my budget but still sold out so I am currently stalking the website to see if they happen to get a pair in my size back in stock when they go on sale. The little nifty heart sweater was a factory store find a week before Thanksgiving and I paired it with a purple blazer I snatched up at half-price after all my discounts. All my favorite stores have already started sending out their Spring catalogues so now I have to decide if I should save my money for that or attack the end of season sales now. I suppose if I had a man he would frown upon such a "dilemma" and I would never hear the end of it so I will appreciate my single status simply for that fact.
